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NativeMomma
11-09-2008, 06:46 PM
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son
is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of
Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her
husband is on the back of the milk carton.

WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding
items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her
wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in
her purse. 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?'
I asked. 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband
refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the
most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how
you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh,
rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
'It is essential that husbands and
wives know each other's likes and dislikes.' He
addressed the man, 'Can you name your wife's
favorite flower?' Tom leaned over, touched his
wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?


WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument
and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As
they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the
husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife
replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and
asked, 'What?'

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid
and so beautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded,
'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would
be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be
attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew
the coffee each morning. The wife said, 'You should do it because you
get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to
get our coffee. The husband said, 'You are in charge of
cooking around here and you should do it, because that is
your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.' Wife
replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in
the Bible that the man should do the coffee. Husband
replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.' So she
fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed
him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says
'HEBREWS'

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the
next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for
an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the
first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it
where he knew she would find it. The next morning, t he man
woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed
his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Bufford
11-10-2008, 07:25 PM
love the last one.

SusyQ
11-11-2008, 04:43 PM
LOL @ this one.....

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument
and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As
they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the
husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

GoldDogs
11-11-2008, 05:48 PM
I like Wife VS Husband too!!!

And the last one!!!