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Giggle Squirt
12-07-2008, 08:19 PM
You were a 1995 dove grey hyundai sonata, and I was a college student with a driver’s license. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight, but eventually all the pieces came together and we created an everlasting bond that lasted throughout the whole five yearsI owned you, before your untimely death. I’ll never forget the good times we had, whether it was stalling out on the middle of the highway, or that time I couldn’t get your defroster to shut off and I almost suffered 3rd degree burns.

When we were introduced, the first thing I said was, “You mean I have to drive that piece of ****?”. It was an unusually warm month of November and you were sitting in the back of a used car lot. You smelled like urine. When I remarked upon this to the salesman, he told me that he “didn’t smell the urine”, which I picked up as an immediate lie. My father bought you for me that day, not because he liked you, but simply because you were the cheapest car. I’ll never forget when my father jokingly asked his friends, “Will she survive on the trip home?”, and they ambiguously replied, “Probably…”

When people asked me what car I drove, I would tell them that you were sonata. I was ashamed of you at first; I mean who wouldn’t be when you live where I live. In Sault Ste.Marie every fifth car you see on the road will be a red SUV; driving an old Sonta in sault ste marie is like sneaking into the zoo and f**king a zebra. Not only do you get tons of confused looks, but at some point a cop will come up to you and ask, “What the hell do you think you’re doing with that?”.

You were a slow car. Except for that one speeding ticket. I always used to brag to my non-driving friends that you were able to “go from zero to forty-five in twelve seconds”. Although, I would only brag about you to my non-driving friends, because if they started to laugh, I would be able to yell, “Well at least I have a car you non-driving piece of ****.”

There were a number of things broken with you, namely, the speedometer, the odometer, the heating system, the air conditioning, the glove compartment, the transmission, the radio, the suspension, the control arm bushings,the egr valve, the shift lock, the alignment, and the exhaust. To find out how fast you were really going, I would have to subtract 15 from whatever the speedometer read, and then multiply that by 2. I once turned on your defroster; it never shut off. Your radio would only work on Thursdays; no-one ever figured that one out. Your passenger side seat-belt didn’t work all the time, which may be the reason I couldn’t convince many other people to ride in you; it also didn’t help that when I told them that I also jokingly told them to “not mind the bloodstains in the back”.

After I got over the whole “you’re a disgusting Sonata that may very well kill me” thing, I grew to love you. I learned how to embrace your many disconcerting noises and creaking sounds, but most importantly, I learned that having a car that could make it up small hills isn’t everything in the world. You became my friend when everyone else shunned me (They said I smelled like urine). Those 5 years were some of the greatest in my life.

You died on a Thursday; the mechanics later said it was a brake line problem that would cost more to fix then your worth. I decided to pull the plug and limped you home at midnight just incase the brakes failed again their would be less chance of me hitting anyone. And although it would’ve been a lot more convenient for me if you didn’t die right in the middle of the highway when I was trying to stop because some ******* cut me off, I knew you couldn’t help it.

You had a hard life, I drove you hard. I am still very sorry about that time i was driving you and thought for a second i was driving a stick and tried to shift you into third but put you in park. Or that time I was driving down ranger lake road going just a bit to fast on wash board and almost spun you out, or trying to go off roading in you thinking you were a truck. You never left me stranded like you buddy the Jeep. You were always their for me when i to go for a long drive to clear my head. You could of helped me out with the gas milliage 6 mpg just didn't cut it when gas was 1.40 p/l. You were a true pal, and you will be missed. May you rest in peace. Ps, i am sorry that i had to syphon the gas out of you, but that tank of gas was worth more then you were.

Macs II
12-07-2008, 08:23 PM
is this another copy/paste or did you write that ?

Giggle Squirt
12-07-2008, 08:26 PM
i am going to miss my car.. :( I hope the crusher didn't hurt it to bad.

rmkryan
12-07-2008, 08:38 PM
That's POS saved my ass a couple times. Like when I killed my battery or when my car git written off and was able to put ol' glory back on the road. How can you go wrong with a free car? Sure it wasn't pretty, but did the job... and some how always managed to get us where we needed to go. Gonna miss the old car... but now we have a new one to break! lol I miss my Civic :(

Giggle Squirt
12-07-2008, 08:39 PM
Even though I had to drive the sonata two footed for a while because the IAC motor was sticking, and the fact that if any one ever wanted to heaven forbid borrow my car, I have to write a list of stuff for them not to do. Today in my new car i went to reach for my piece of brake line that I used in the sonata to take the shifter out of park, but realized that this car shifted normally. I almost cried. Not having to use the shift lock anymore makes me cry.

Evangeline
12-07-2008, 09:01 PM
hahaha, that was really funny to read.

Giggle Squirt
12-07-2008, 09:11 PM
ryan maybe the sonata and the civic will meet in car heven and make civotas!!! Doesn't it bring a smile to your face knowing that the civic and sonta will be together again forever? I think the sonata was getting lonley without her friend parked beside her all night. Just because her body is going to be lying in a heap rusting back in to the earth, so does the circle of life continue.

rmkryan
12-07-2008, 09:13 PM
That would be one sexy car! I hope they do :) Wonder where that car is now...

Giggle Squirt
12-07-2008, 09:23 PM
Just think of the sonata and the civic driving down long streaches of pothole less highway. Not having to worry about hitting a bump to hard and having to worry about the strut comming through the tower. Being able to pass someone with out the bands slipping in the transmission and feeling like it is going to fall out from under the car. Just think of how happy the civic is racing around and sliding around corners, with out having the exhaust fall off, playing bumper tag with all the other hot little sport cars. That poor civic. I will never forget the time we had to ether the car because the head gasket blew and it would not start. I felt so bad spraying that ether into the air intake. Knowing that it would dry the hell out of the cylinders. Secreatly I hated the civic, well it is not a secret you knew that. Hell I think everyone knew that. But it made me sad seeing how upset you were when it got towed to the crusher. Even though i pretended i was sad to see it gone, i was secreatly jumping up and down inside. Every time i see a little red civic driving around it pulls at my heart strings. Oh well, it is not every day you get a car where the shifter **** breaks off in your hand, and the wiring catches on fire.

rmkryan
12-07-2008, 09:39 PM
You never hated that car. You loved it! I know you did! It took care of you as much as it did me! That shifter breaking while driving though, really did suck... as for the ether.... we had no choice... sad part is is that it was for a diesel! lol

haha
12-07-2008, 10:03 PM
hilarious thread

gouligann
12-08-2008, 09:18 AM
Brings back memories of our old cars. That was when front seats went right across and you could cuddle up to the driver and kiss at the stop lights lol

In one of them, the starter died. We yanked it out and used a screwdriver to start it from then on.

One night the wiring caught on fire under the dash. You wanna see people scramble to get out of a car lol. RIP old girl!

MaO3
12-08-2008, 09:32 AM
Giggle, I LOVED your post. Written with such love! Truly funny.

Thanks for the giggle! :)

tippikitty
12-08-2008, 10:16 AM
Awesome post.....and my condolences to you. :slol:

official soonet pu$$ycat
12-08-2008, 11:38 AM
I love that story. i sent it to a friend when her car broke down last year and it made her laugh. She was so stressed about it so it worked.

adigirl
12-08-2008, 12:02 PM
LOL good one

FBI
12-08-2008, 04:37 PM
so original material or memorex,,,,,,,,,,,,you decide.................

Nihilistic Heathen
12-08-2008, 04:44 PM
Memorex

Timbit
12-08-2008, 08:54 PM
I love that story. i sent it to a friend when her car broke down last year and it made her laugh. She was so stressed about it so it worked.


The sad part here is that was a totally truthful post....all those things she said was a heartfelt written memorial...nothing was cut or pasted, I witnessed almost EVERY one of those 'moments' with that car......it was a beast for sure the way it was driven...........

RIP sonata..... :(

I am kinda glad you got rid of it...it was a deathtrap lol.....too bad ryan wasn't driving it when it kaffed hehehe :) lol j/k buddy

Nihilistic Heathen
12-08-2008, 10:23 PM
Saturday, July 15, 2006
A humble eulogy for my first car.

You were a 1991 Toyota Camry Station Wagon, and I was a 16 year old boy with a newly printed driver’s license. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight, but eventually all the pieces came together and we created an everlasting bond that lasted throughout the whole four weeks I owned you, before your untimely death. I’ll never forget the good times we had, whether it was stalling out on the middle of the highway, or that time I couldn’t get your defroster to shut off and I almost suffered 3rd degree burns.

When we were introduced, the first thing I said was, “You mean I have to drive that piece of ****?”. It was an unusually warm month of March for the state of Connecticut and you were sitting in the back of the dirtiest used car lot in the state. You smelled like urine. When I remarked upon this fact to the used-car salesman, he told me that he “didn’t smell the urine”, which I picked up as an immediate lie. My father bought you for me that day, not because he liked you, but simply because you were the cheapest car in New England. I’ll never forget when my father jokingly asked the salesman, “Will he survive on the trip home?”, and the salesman ambiguously replied, “Probably…”

When people asked me what car I drove, I would tell them that you were “a Camry”, always purposely leaving out the words “station wagon”, as to not give away the fact that you weren’t really a Camry but more like the Camry’s retarded step-cousin. I was ashamed of you at first; I mean who wouldn’t be when you live where I live. In Glastonbury Connecticut, every fifth car you see on the road will be a red SUV; driving a white station wagon in Glastonbury Connecticut is like sneaking into the zoo and ****ing a zebra. Not only do you get tons of confused looks, but at some point a cop will come up to you and ask, “What the hell do you think you’re doing with that?”.

You were a slow car. I always used to brag to my non-driving friends that you were able to “go from zero to forty-five in twelve seconds”. Although, I would only brag about you to my non-driving friends, because if they started to laugh, I would be able to yell, “Well at least I have a car you non-driving piece of ****.”

There were a number of things broken with you, namely, the speedometer, the odometer, the heating system, the air conditioning, the glove compartment, the radio, the alignment, and the exhaust. To find out how fast you were really going, I would have to subtract 15 from whatever the speedometer read, and then multiply that by 2. I once turned on your defroster; it never shut off. Your radio would only work on Thursdays; no-one ever figured that one out. Your passenger side seat-belt didn’t work, which may be the reason I couldn’t convince many other people to ride in you; it also didn’t help that when I told them that I also jokingly told them to “not mind the bloodstains in the back”.

After I got over the whole “you’re a disgusting station wagon that may very well kill me” thing, I grew to love you. I learned how to embrace your many disconcerting noises and creaking sounds, but most importantly, I learned that having a car that could make it up small hills isn’t everything in the world. You became my friend when everyone else shunned me (They said I smelled like urine). Those 4 weeks were some of the greatest in my life.

You died on a Tuesday; the mechanics later said it was an engine problem. And although it would’ve been a lot more convenient for me if you didn’t die right in the middle of the highway, I knew you couldn’t help it. You were a true pal, and you will be missed. May you rest in peace.


Source~ http://www.alextraynor.com/2006/07/humble-eulogy-for-my-first-car_15.html

Giggle Squirt
12-08-2008, 11:32 PM
whatever it was extreamly fitting and funny as hell. so i addes some stuff and made it about my dead sonata. sorry for trying to have some fun. but seriously it was very fitting to my car.

official soonet pu$$ycat
12-08-2008, 11:38 PM
whatever it was extreamly fitting and funny as hell. so i addes some stuff and made it about my dead sonata. sorry for trying to have some fun. but seriously it was very fitting to my car.

I would like to send out my condolences

Timbit
12-09-2008, 12:15 AM
Saturday, July 15, 2006
A humble eulogy for my first car.

You were a 1991 Toyota Camry Station Wagon, and I was a 16 year old boy with a newly printed driver’s license. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight, but eventually all the pieces came together and we created an everlasting bond that lasted throughout the whole four weeks I .................................................. .later said it was an engine problem. And although it would’ve been a lot more convenient for me if you didn’t die right in the middle of the highway, I knew you couldn’t help it. You were a true pal, and you will be missed. May you rest in peace.


Source~ http://www.alextraynor.com/2006/07/humble-eulogy-for-my-first-car_15.html

well I must say, being that I had never seen this before I can say that what she did write was pretty fitting for the car because seriously, everything was identical to what happened with the car, hence why I thought she had written it. Dr. Phil, I apologize for my ignorance...I can be humble and totally admit to wrong....

official soonet pu$$ycat
12-09-2008, 12:35 AM
Nonsense poopy pants! I knew it was all in good fun.

Barry Morris
12-09-2008, 09:17 AM
I had a car like that once. No, twice, well maybe...

Toto
12-09-2008, 11:01 AM
well I must say, being that I had never seen this before I can say that what she did write was pretty fitting for the car because seriously, everything was identical to what happened with the car, hence why I thought she had written it. Dr. Phil, I apologize for my ignorance...I can be humble and totally admit to wrong....

Fitting or not, no credit was given to the original author by giggle squirt. All she did was change a few things and claim it as her own. How do YOU spell PLAGIARISM?

Miles From Nowhere
12-09-2008, 04:24 PM
I agree that it's all in good fun. If her post did nothing else but put some smiles on our faces, then what harm was done? I've read some pretty mindless threads on this board that deserve to be criticized much more than this one. How many of us have posted images or links without properly crediting the owner? Soonet...where happiness goes to die.

rmkryan
12-09-2008, 10:09 PM
well if you must know i don't think that she posted that to offend anyone. she was sitting beside me and came across it and then said OMFG that sounds like my sonata lol and then she changed some stuff and it was so fitting and she was laughing so hard and i was laughing hard and sent it to some other friends and they started laughing so she decided to post it for laughs because the people who know her car would get a giant kick out of it. hell even her boss laughed at it. so now in the joke section you should quote the original joke wrighter and then you should yell at everyone with their signatures. this was just posted for laughs and for the simple fact that is is basically what happened to her car. sorry that we thought that it was funny and that iw oudl get a few laughs.