View Full Version : Women Jokes ...

05-25-2009, 11:32 AM
Due to the influx of "men" jokes, I thought I'd revisit some old classics. :)

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why.

Women inspire us to do great things and prevent us from achieving them.

Whats the difference between a terrorist and a woman on her period?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What have you done wrong when your wife comes out of the kitchen and starts nagging you?
Made the chain too long

How many men does it take to open a beer?
-None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.

How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
4: 1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group

How many men does it take to please a woman.
Impossible. Once a woman's done *****ing about the men they're all asleep

Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

If you really want to find out who is more loyal and faithful; your dog or your wife you can try this home experiment ...

Lock both your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour and then come back and open up the trunk ... see who is happier to see you!

05-28-2009, 08:16 AM
You are very brave!
Just kidding. Those were hilarious!

05-29-2009, 01:07 PM
The last one is a given. If I was locked in the trunk with my dog, I KNOW my dog would be happier to see him. I'll save him the hassle. Lol.

Funny stuff

06-20-2009, 12:23 PM
funny stuff.. but something tells me that some of it is the truth lol.. no offence ladies.. its not your fault haha