PDA

View Full Version : Anyone feel over whemled by life in general?



autum1
11-05-2009, 04:51 PM
Between everyday life and not getting any help around the house , I'm starting to feel down about everything. Nothing gets done unless I do it or suggest it. And oh boy if I even mention it to the other half , I'm *****ing/nagging. I would love to have one day for myself not to do laundry, make beds , clean the house, running kids here and there.
Just having a bad day today.

Tansy
11-05-2009, 08:51 PM
Everyone at my house knows that Sundays are "Mom does squat" days. Take a day for yourself, or you'll go banarnas. ;)

NewCasa
11-05-2009, 09:10 PM
Go on strike.

Anapeg
11-05-2009, 09:48 PM
Go on strike.

Right on! Marriage is a UNION after all.

SIMBA
11-05-2009, 10:35 PM
you married the wrong person.

NewCasa
11-06-2009, 01:34 AM
Right on! Marriage is a UNION after all.

Exactly! Marriage is a holy union, so go on a holy strike!

kitca
11-06-2009, 10:33 AM
seasonal depression is very common and normal in our hemisphere. it slows you down and makes you tired and cranky. i take vitamin d3 in the fall and winter months and i got myself a sunlamp to help because it gets so bad.

when you are a parent you never get a day off, but we still need them! its hard if you are a stay at home parent and the other goes out to work. it feels like you end up working 24 hours a day and the other person only 8. lots of times it actually is like that.

i nearly killed myself trying to keep a clean house and keep up with everything. now my house is a mess but we are all alot happier. some things just gotta give.

mags
11-07-2009, 07:49 AM
Some words of wisdom a house doesn't have to be spotless to be a home, a little mess never killed anyone. If your home is a messy but is clean who cares if the beds don't get made early in the day.
Take some time every day for yourself, pet a puppy any pet, get outside and walk, take a deep breath of fresh air.
Rake the leaves then jump in them with the kids, in the winter make snow angels.
What the others have about lack of sun is true and we have had a lot of rain and gloomy days. Try some vitamin D.

kitca
11-08-2009, 11:42 AM
yes, thats right about the tanning beds. i have heard that people do that once a week just to help them feel better. cheaper than the sun light. the problem, they say, with actual sun light is that it is too weak and we are tilted away from it, and also, we cover up so much of our bodies from the cold that there isnt enough skin to absorb the goodness from it. but i know, for myself, that i FEEL much better on sunny days (like today) and i get out there as much as i can when the sun is out.

autum1
11-08-2009, 12:49 PM
I have used the tanning beds , not good for your skin thou. And I do get out to walk/hike during the day for exercise. I still sometimes feel over whelmed by everything. It also does not help when the other half does not see it or poo poo it.
Some days are great like today and other days are wow what hit me?

kitca
11-08-2009, 08:35 PM
you know one more thing...i used to think i was feeling overwhelmed all the time, then for another reason i started tracking my cycle. it turns out that i have pms when i ovulate for a few days, then a whole week before the main event. so, it seemed like i was feeling horrible all the time, but when i saw it tracked on the calendar i could see a very regualr pattern. it helped just to understand better what was going on.

i dont know what is all happening with you, i just mentioned it as something else to consider.

thats really gotta suck if the other half actually poopoos the way you are feeling. is there any way you can divide up the chores so he can see what its like? when our daughter was young we had this system that one week it was my turn to make sure all her needs were looked after and that week would be his week to cook dinner and wash up the dishes. then we would switch. it was such a nice arrangement and worked really well.

do you work outside of the home autum?

MissMuffett
11-08-2009, 10:07 PM
autum1 i totally understand....I am a mother of a Hyper 4 year old and a 19 month old.. i am currently a house wife and the hubbys shift is always differenet.. some days he doesnt get home till 7pm or 8pm and he leavs the house @ 7:30am when he works. I am with the kids from the time they get up @ 7 till they go to bed @ 7:30-8.. On hubbys days off he works on the bathroom, so again i have the kids with me, or in the garage, and again the kids are with me.. I have house renovations that need to be done, but even painting a ceiling is a whole day chore beucase my little girl will try climbing the ladder and the boy takes her off and its a whole screaming match.. My little girl gets into EVERYTHING.. i empty the dishwasher, shes playing with dirty or clean dishes, so i have to make sure i do dishes around her meal times, and even going to the washroom has to be planned, because she follows me to the bathrooma nd with home renovations we have a mess downstairs, and its not safe for her.... I end up feeling trapped in a house all day, cleaning NEVER ends, Im home dealing with the kids 90% of the time and i never ever get a day off.... Hubby says fine just go out when i complain, but by this time its 8:30 @ night and im soooo tired that i dont want to do anything but showre and go to bed.. Id rather have some help during the day when the kids are up.. babysitters are expensive, and so are daycares, i hate cooking and i have to cook all of the time beucase hubby doesnt know how to cook, and when he tries to give me a break we go out to eat.. which in turn becomes a costly 2 or 3 days off..... I have a patio set in the backyard and toys that need to put away, hubby is too tired after work, and every time i get out their to try the baby takes off so i cannot even get close to the shed.. its a bloody nightmare....being a stay @ home mom is pretty stressful with young kids.. !!
I have sick parents, with people i know going through kemo, i have a house that we are trying to sell, and a lot that we are trying to build on, i have friends who depend on me to pay their college tuition beucase they cant get credit or a loan or anything beucase of their bad history with money, and she'll return the money IF she gets bursuries, i have an alcholic m&f in law.. i have a sister whos going thorugh rough times with her husband. all of this i have to hear and witness, and feel bad about, on top of my house and kids, and building...... I drink beer @ nighttime to help ease the stress..

mags
11-09-2009, 02:43 PM
autumn1 some employers in town have an arrangement with the GHC where employees or family members can go and talk with someone. The employer pays for and never knows who has used it, maybe your husband is covered for this. If not find some one to talk to. good luck!!

MaO3
11-09-2009, 03:37 PM
Thats called Employee Assistance Plan.

autum1
11-10-2009, 07:31 AM
We have seen marriage counselors in the past. Probably do need to see one again. Things tend to fall to the side and we are back to the old issues.

mags
11-10-2009, 09:12 AM
I think that you might benefit by seeing someone by yourself for yourself only.

b&aMom
11-16-2009, 11:43 AM
If you have a doc or nurse practitioner at GHC, go see them. Tell them you're having a hard time mentally/emotionally, and they can refer you to their counsellors (covered by OHIP). Just went through it myself, and only had to wait about 3 weeks before I was in to see someone. Alternately, depending on your spouse's employer, they may have one free of charge as mentioned previously. Essar does.

I, too, am a SAH mom... of 15 years. There is no time off, unless you MAKE it. And that can be hard to do, if you can't afford daycare/sitter, or have to take it in the evenings when you are plain worn out. Besides the counselling, best I can tell you is that it DOES get better as the kids get older, and begin to develop their own lives, and no longer want to be joined at the hip with you. Yes, we've all had that follow Mom to the bathroom thing, too. Very difficult to feel you get down time at that stage.

Chin up, get as much winter sun as you can, LIQUID vit D works best for supplements, and try and get in to see a counsellor.

mags
11-16-2009, 12:27 PM
autum1 how are you?

autum1
11-18-2009, 12:39 PM
Well I really was having bad week, last week . This week much better. I think alot of it is my mind set. I tend to take on to much. I need to step back and say no I'm not going to help with that , what ever and take more time for myself.

kitca
11-19-2009, 12:20 AM
hey, that sounds like a good attitude. and i do believe attitude is 75% of the problem or solution, at least. besides, you cant take care of anyone else if youre burnt out yourself. glad this week is better.

mags
11-19-2009, 07:11 AM
Glad this week is better. You sound better, take care of yourself!