View Full Version : Miscarriage

03-31-2010, 11:59 AM
For those who have been through it, was it a long process? I assume it will take a few days. The cramping is pretty painful, but I know the worst is yet to come. All I am expelling is bleeding so far, and even that is not very heavy. No clots or tissues.

It is the hurt of losing my child that is worst. Hearing the doctor tell me that was the single most painful experience of my life. It far surpassed my ex-husband's affair, my grandparents deaths, my bartholin's absess...

We did not have long together, but in those few weeks, I fell in love. He was only an idea at this point. I took care of myself for him. And, he's gone. :(

03-31-2010, 12:18 PM
I have never been through it, I could only imagine the pain you are going though.. Thoughts are with ya, like I said on your facebook wall.. KEEP STRONG girl..


03-31-2010, 01:21 PM
aww....that is so sad. i had a miscarriage a few years ago and i had already chosen a name and bought a few baby things. it is a very painful process emotionally to have to go through losing not only the baby itself but all of the possibilies and dreams that come along with being pregant.
it took a few days for me to physically go through it and i ended up having to go to the hospital because the pain was too much and i needed to get a d&c done. it was actually almost as painful, for me, as going through labour with a full term baby only without the excitement.
sorry for your loss, i will be thinking of you. hope it goes quickly for you, and that you will have no lasting effects.

03-31-2010, 02:11 PM
lynys, I'm sorry that you are going through this. The time it takes can vary but no matter how long the process is. It is most unpleasant on all levels, there is emotional and physical, sadness. I hope that you have a good support system to help you trough this. i am so sorry for your loss

03-31-2010, 04:40 PM
I'm sorry lynys. I have nothing to offer but my heartfelt sympathy. :(

03-31-2010, 08:43 PM
Thanks ladies.

I have to go to the hospital tomorrow to have my hormone levels checked, just to be sure this is an actual miscarriage. I doubt though, with the bleeding and cramps that this is a viable pregnancy. Although, really, really stranger things have happened. I couldn't even imagine!

Anyway, depending on what they find, they will suggest the best method for solving the problem. I think if a d & c is offered, I will do it, only to heal quicker. Besides, I am not letting this get me down too long, because I know that being a parent is one thing my husband and I will excel at. Gotta get moving on that one. ;) Ugh. So many emotions all at once.

It helped to be able to talk about it. Definitely helps you to move through the emotions by getting it out and just talking. Thanks for listening.

Giggle Squirt
03-31-2010, 08:46 PM
A d&c wasn't offered to me but I asked my doctor about it. I couldn't go through the whole waiting for it to happen on it's own. I would of went nuts. If it is not offered ask about it.

03-31-2010, 09:56 PM
yes, mine was not offered to me right off the bat either. first i went in for a routine ultrasound where they sent me to emerg who in turn sent me home to 'wait it out.' i was at the hospital for the third time when they decided to do it and first they put me on a morphine drip because i was in so much pain. if i was in that possition again(and thank god i'm not) i would have asked for one but at the time i was young and knew nothing about what was actually going to happen. i think it is easier to go to sleep and wake up to it being over than to go through it all. still thinking of you and wishing you some healing.

04-01-2010, 11:05 AM
My wife had a miscarriage a year before she got pregnant with ur daughter, she was 2 months. Started as light bleeding, immediately we went to the emerg, it was a friday night, they sent us home, told her to stay in bed with her feet up and come back monday morning for a ultrasound. the bleeding somewhat stopped for the weekend so we weren't sure it was a miscarriage. Monday came, went for the ultrasound, waited in the emerg room for the doctor to come in, he told us that the baby had no heartbeat, we had to wait for 6-7 hours for dr zehr to come in and check her, she tried to open her cervix a bit so it would move along, they miscarriage did not want to start n its own. She gave her these pills to insert to make the cervix open and the miscarriage to start. She did not use the pills cause she read the side effects, luckily it started on its own that night.
This is quite graphic but you asked and im going to let you know what we went through.
Heavy bleeding, almost like she was peeing but it was blood coming out, toliet was black, thats how dark the blood was and how much their was. Bad cramps. She could tell when she had to go to the bathrooom for the "stuff: to come out. Abut every 15 minutes she had to go in there and sit on the toilet to let stuff pass. After a day of extremely heavy bleeding, she started to pass huge clots. She could feel these clots passing. this lasted 2 days. The 3rd day she passed a clot she said was humongous, and after that came out the bleeding subsided and the cramping stopped and that was then end. She had to go see her doctor a week after the ultrasound that told us we were miscarrying, and she did another ultrasound t make sure everything came out on its own and it did she did not need the d & c.

I guess everyone is different though. And I guess it all depends how far along you were.

There is nothing sadder them the loss of a baby. We were told we could never have kids, to when we found out we were pregnant we were overjoyed, then we lost that baby and it felt like our world fell apart and we would never recover. She cried fr weeks, would fall asleep crying , would wake up crying. She would sit in the front room all alone crying for hours. I cried as well and i took it hard but i tried to be there for her the best I could without falling apart. When we found out a year later we were pregnant again i could not get excited, she was asking me are you happy and asking why I was not excited, but I did not want to get all happy again to lose again.She did at 2 months started to bleed lightly and i though, oh here we go again. But it was nothing, after we heard the heartbeat and saw her for the first time threw ultrasound I became happy again and we have a healthy baby girl now. :)
Things happen for a reason, your body rejects the fetus sometimes because their may be somethign wrong with it, thats what the doctor told us. Its not fair at all. It is painful as hell.

Im sorry for your lose and it will take a long time. I think about it now and think, if we would not of miscarried I would not have my beautiful daughter right now. And I would not trade her for anythign in this world. :)

04-01-2010, 11:22 AM
Wow, Im so sorry Lynys, I have never had that and couldnt begin to imagine how much it hurts in every way. Im glad you said you arent going to give up. My boyfriends aunt was determined and after many very early miscarriages she just had a beautiful strong baby boy. Dont give up!

04-01-2010, 03:15 PM
Like I said on FB I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Jay and I went through a m/c after losing our twins, I was 6 wks pregnant. For me (everyone is different) it happened quickly, started bleeding one day and the next day I passed our baby. The cramps weren't too bad, the bleeding wasn't too bad either. After sitting in emerg. for 5 hrs the first night and going back down the next day for the U/S, I passed our baby when I was cleaning up after the external and internal u/s. I was heartbroken, even though I didn't have the connection with this baby as I did our sons. I honestly felt like less of a woman, felt like I couldn't give Jay children after everything we had gone through for years just to have a baby. We knew that we had to wait until after our 6 wk post check up before we could try again, and only slept together once before that appoint. and 8 wks and 2 days after my m/c (2 wks after my appoint). I found out I was pregnant again. My 4 1/2 yr old son is proof that it only takes once to get pregnant, even right after having a m/c.

The last thing we wanted to hear again was "it wasn't meant to be", "something was wrong with the baby", "don't worry you'll go on to have another....", etc. Yes is some messed up cruel way those sayings are true, but it's not something you want to be told by someone who has not gone through it themselves. It hurts that much more to have someone who has no idea what it feels like to carry a baby inside you, even for a short time, tell you these things. Please don't let anyone try to make you feel like you should 'get over it' quickly and 'move on'. Only you can decide when you are ready to move on. The pain and the memory is something that will stay with you, as much as we wish it wouldn't at times. Keep your head up and know that there are many of us here to support you, you are not alone. You are a very strong woman and you have a wonderful strong man standing beside you.

Thinking of you!

04-01-2010, 03:52 PM
Thanks for the messages ladies. I sent you a reply on the Myface Trina.

Had my levels checked today, and they have dropped quite a bit, so that means no ectopic, which is really good. Doctor figures I will just continue to bleed for another couple of days and that will be that. I know that once the hormone drops to zero, there is no pregnancy tissue left, and I am not far off from that number. I go for another test on Sunday. Luckily, all I am expecting is blood because I was not very far along when the pregnancy stopped progressing.

I am being optimistic though, because I know that my chances for a successful pregnancy next time are very, very high. And, I'll be due for some good news at that point. lol

04-16-2010, 04:01 AM
This thread needs a guys voice i think.

Sorry Lynys you went through this, Aggy and I went throught this several years ago, she was carrying twins, we were told by the doctor that neither fetus developed a heart. It was the worst news anyone could ever tell us. I was more concern for Aggy because i know how excited she was to be carrying twins. We were told by Dr. Amimi that 1 in 7 women have a miscarriage, and most dont even realize they had one.

We had to go to Italy a week after we were told the news so they offered her the D&C, which she took. Aggy was treated to several massages for women that have miscarriages when we went to Italy by my aunt. She got alot of support.

When we came back from italy it wasnt something we talked about for awhile, but eventually we got back on the horse and tried again. And a few months later we got the news she was preggie again. We never told anyone until she was 3 months into it, but it was hard because we were both waiting for some news that something wrong happened.

Aggy went through a highrisk pregancy at the end, but it all worked out, we have our beautiful daughter, and not to brag, but she is the cuttest baby in the world :) mommys looks and daddys temper, cant ask for more.

So wether you want to hear this from me or not, I am sorry that this happened to you, and i wish you and your husband all the best in trying again. It will never take away from what happened, but you will enjoy your child alot more when you are successful.

This everyone is the soft side of ID who yes, has a heart.

04-16-2010, 10:53 AM
A first time for everything I guess. ;)

Thanks ID.

We decided to move on as quickly as possible, because throwing the other wrench in my personal life with the death of my kitty, I have been a wreck. Trying again is what is giving me some hope, an I am gonna go with it.

I feel much better. This past month has been tremendously stressful and painful, and I would never wish it on anyone. :(

Giggle Squirt
04-16-2010, 11:01 AM
Good luck and keep practicing!

04-16-2010, 08:29 PM
A first time for everything I guess. ;)

Thanks ID.

We decided to move on as quickly as possible, because throwing the other wrench in my personal life with the death of my kitty, I have been a wreck. Trying again is what is giving me some hope, an I am gonna go with it.

I feel much better. This past month has been tremendously stressful and painful, and I would never wish it on anyone. :(

I wish you two the best .. everyone deserves a lil bundle of joy