Soundbear
08-14-2007, 11:23 AM
European Union on Higher Alert
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats,
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon,
though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A
Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940,
when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
"Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a
"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
The French government also announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are
"Surrender" and Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire
that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the
country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased its alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"
to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".
The Germans meanwhile have increased their alert state from
"Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs".
They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual - the only threat
that they are really worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
Finally, the Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
deploy. These beautifully designed boats have glass bottoms, so that the new
Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats,
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon,
though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A
Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940,
when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
"Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a
"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
The French government also announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are
"Surrender" and Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire
that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the
country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased its alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"
to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".
The Germans meanwhile have increased their alert state from
"Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs".
They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual - the only threat
that they are really worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
Finally, the Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
deploy. These beautifully designed boats have glass bottoms, so that the new
Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.