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doreme
11-14-2007, 07:37 PM
fool around..married ... girlfriend or ???? what ever..a big yes or no..what do you think???
I think a big Yes

crazymamma
11-14-2007, 07:38 PM
If the man has any morals and a concience...no

The 6th Member Of AC/DC
11-14-2007, 07:38 PM
I have several mistresses

Macs II
11-14-2007, 07:39 PM
Not all do.

kitty&mimi
11-14-2007, 07:39 PM
no i dont think all men do

Huggy85
11-14-2007, 07:39 PM
I never have. But a couple of the women I've been with over the years have. And, yes, I am a man. LOL

lynys
11-14-2007, 07:40 PM
My husband did. But, I doubt all men do. Or women for that matter. I know I never would.

mercifulpenguin
11-14-2007, 07:40 PM
given the circumstances....
fidelity is sadly becoming a thing of the past
i blame tv and the internet

tippikitty
11-14-2007, 07:43 PM
I don't believe all men or women do it.

doreme
11-14-2007, 07:44 PM
yes I agree ..big time influences....tv ..internets are to liberal..no one thinks of the ..after..on who they hurt,..

lynys
11-14-2007, 07:48 PM
Ah well. In the long run, it turns out to be the best thing. At least. for me it was. Took a long time to come to that conclusion though.

doreme
11-14-2007, 07:48 PM
there is no other hurt in this world ..than a partener be it male or female..that has s...d around on you..it is the most devastating thing that can happened..

tippikitty
11-14-2007, 07:50 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: doreme</div><div class="ubbcode-body">it is the most devastating thing that can happened.. </div></div>

Oh trust me honey there are far more devastating things that can happen. Losing a child comes top on my list. So see it could be worse.

doreme
11-14-2007, 07:52 PM
yes tippy I do agree with you on that but it's got to be on the top 10 list

GRUMPY
11-14-2007, 07:53 PM
I can say never, never even been tempted. Its ok to look as long as you don't touch. I'd never insult my wife or myself that way.

lynys
11-14-2007, 07:54 PM
Meh. Depends on your perspective. Most psychologists say that having your spouse cheat IS the most devastating thing.

It was hell for me. The last nine months have been pretty trying, but, I very quickly found that I can and will be happy. Still a lot of scars that go along with it though. Trust, self worth, etc. come to mind. Time heals all wounds. Eventually.

geogett
11-14-2007, 07:59 PM
i dont believe all men or women do either

tippikitty
11-14-2007, 07:59 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: lynys</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Meh. Depends on your perspective. Most psychologists say that having your spouse cheat IS the most devastating thing.
</div></div>

I TOTALLY disagree with that statement!!! Please tell me the name of ANY psychologist that would say that cheating on a spouse is more devastating then having a child dying. You've got to be kidding me.

italiandomino
11-14-2007, 07:59 PM
Gene Simmons quote: "I believe in nobody else having anything to say about your lifestyle. If you want to be faithful that should be a personal decision, not up to your girlfriend or your boyfriend. That's the problem with marriage. Somebody else has a right to say how you lead your life. Not even your mother has that right, and she gave you life itself. Why would you ever give anybody else that right?"

lynys
11-14-2007, 08:00 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: *~TippiKitty~*</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: lynys</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Meh. Depends on your perspective. Most psychologists say that having your spouse cheat IS the most devastating thing.
</div></div>

I TOTALLY disagree with that statement!!! Please tell me the name of ANY psychologist that would say that cheating on a spouse is more devastating then having a child dying. You've got to be kidding me. </div></div>

Look it up then. I can send you to a site that will state that very thing.

The 6th Member Of AC/DC
11-14-2007, 08:02 PM
Gene Simmons would also get his nuts cut off if Shannon ever caught him cheating. What would hurt more than him being castrated is when she would take half his fortune away,lol

italiandomino
11-14-2007, 08:03 PM
That is why Shannon stays home with the kids where she belongs LOL

lynys
11-14-2007, 08:05 PM
Here we go...

Marriage Builders (http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5525_qa.html)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">After having counseled thousands of couples with hundreds of marital conflicts, I am completely convinced that a spouse's unfaithfulness is the most painful experience that can be inflicted in marriage. Those I've counseled who have had the tragic misfortune of having experienced rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse of their children, and infidelity have consistently reported to me that their spouse's unfaithfulness was their very worst experience. To be convinced of the devastating impact of infidelity, you only need to go through it once.
</div></div>

tippikitty
11-14-2007, 08:05 PM
Oh because all site on the internet are true. But please post a link to the site I would like to take a look at it.

I would also like to have a poll on here asking people what they think is more devastating.
Having a child die and or suffer a horrible painful death while you watch hopelessly by their side.
OR
Have you spouse $crew someone else.

doreme
11-14-2007, 08:06 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ItalianDomino</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Gene Simmons quote: "I believe in nobody else having anything to say about your lifestyle. If you want to be faithful that should be a personal decision, not up to your girlfriend or your boyfriend. That's the problem with marriage. Somebody else has a right to say how you lead your life. Not even your mother has that right, and she gave you life itself. Why would you ever give anybody else that right?" </div></div>

OH.. a quote from Gene Simmons .must be the martimonial law..who the He.ll is he ...on the subject

lynys
11-14-2007, 08:07 PM
Did it. I can't say I agree one hundred percent, because, I do not have any children, so therefore cannot honestly say that if any of those situations arose I would think them worse.

italiandomino
11-14-2007, 08:08 PM
He is God on every subject.

The 6th Member Of AC/DC
11-14-2007, 08:14 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ItalianDomino</div><div class="ubbcode-body">That is why Shannon stays home with the kids where she belongs LOL </div></div>

I dare you to say that to your better half without getting a slap

Ultra54
11-14-2007, 08:15 PM
Not quite but seriously..... Both sexes fool around on their spouses just as often.

tippikitty
11-14-2007, 08:16 PM
I also don't have children but I can tell you that If I had a choice between the two I don't need to have children to know which one I would pick. I guess having loss people close to me I could not imagine the pain of losing a child and would much rather have my husband $crew someone if I had to choose.

In your quote you quoted this from the website.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I am completely convinced that a spouse's unfaithfulness is the most painful experience that can be inflicted in marriage. </div></div>

And I have no doubt that it is the most painful experience that can be inflicted "IN A MARRIAGE". But not the most painful experience that can be inflicted period.

Ultra54
11-14-2007, 08:17 PM
Sounds reasonable to me.

Miles From Nowhere
11-14-2007, 08:24 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ItalianDomino</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Gene Simmons quote: "I believe in nobody else having anything to say about your lifestyle. If you want to be faithful that should be a personal decision, not up to your girlfriend or your boyfriend. That's the problem with marriage. Somebody else has a right to say how you lead your life. Not even your mother has that right, and she gave you life itself. Why would you ever give anybody else that right?" </div></div>

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
- George Burns

ProfessorZed
11-14-2007, 08:32 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: The 6th Member Of AC/DC</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Gene Simmons would also get his nuts cut off if Shannon ever caught him cheating. What would hurt more than him being castrated is when she would take half his fortune away,lol</div></div>

In point of fact, they're openly and conscientiously polyamorous -- I'm not sure what their particular rules are, but I imagine either of them would have to go pretty far to cross a line. I have a lot of respect for them for being so forthright about it, especially in an ever more conservative social climate. Then again, it's easy enough to make your own rules when you're that high-profile; non-famous poly families very often have to worry about losing jobs or children.

/is not actively poly, nor any kind of expert
/is, however, slightly-to-moderately experienced with multiple, consensual, simultaneous relationships
/recommends Easton & Liszt's "The Ethical $lut" for further information

italiandomino
11-14-2007, 08:34 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: The 6th Member Of AC/DC</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ItalianDomino</div><div class="ubbcode-body">That is why Shannon stays home with the kids where she belongs LOL </div></div>

I dare you to say that to your better half without getting a slap </div></div>

I called her and told her that

i didn't get slapped LOL

The 6th Member Of AC/DC
11-14-2007, 08:52 PM
YET

ssm sucks
11-14-2007, 09:38 PM
You guys are comparing apples and oranges, with repect to infidelity, and the death of a child.

katste11
11-14-2007, 09:42 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: *~TippiKitty~*</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
I would also like to have a poll on here asking people what they think is more devastating.
Having a child die and or suffer a horrible painful death while you watch hopelessly by their side.
OR
Have you spouse $crew someone else. </div></div>

I've lost a child and been cheated on before...I am here to say that IMO the pain of losing a child far out weighed the pain of being cheated on. There is no comparison whatsoever.

hemi_69
11-14-2007, 09:45 PM
agreed, in some ways...however the statement was that having a spouse/partner cheat on you was the most devestating thing that could happen. I guarantee there worse than that, sure it may be devestating to some but I assure you there are worse things in life

1337
11-14-2007, 09:48 PM
Well I don't care what anyone says, this is my opinion.

#1 a. *MOST* Girls choose the a$$holes over the nice guys. They take looks over anything else. The "Nice guys" are in the friend zone, and say "I can't date you, your my frined"
b. Most a$$holes, tend to cheat, because that is why they are named what they are.

#2 Humans by NATURE aren't monogomous, why else would we have urges? And what I mean "By Nature" is no outside influence. If you grew up in a pologymist world, you would be one. We live in a so called "monogomous" world. The "norm" in society to be with just 1 mate, technically speaking it isn't natural.

Now this isn't an excuse to cheat, but it explains humans do! Alot of the times it is because the person isn't happy or just a horn dog.

In response to 1981 Star. Devastating, is devastating, there isn't different levels.

I'd be more devastated if my child died, than if my wife were to cheat on me. There is on 1 meaning, and 1 level to the word, there for the devastation level can be measure between a child dying and a spouse cheating.

Evangeline
11-14-2007, 09:55 PM
My father told me all men cheat for years, as far as he's concerned every b/f I have ever had was a cheater, I have never been cheated on though, and I don't believe that statement, even though it is hard to ignore something like that when it comes from your dad.

he doesn't say it about this b/f since we moved in together though, I guess that was just his way of trying to make me get rid of the guys he didnt like (all of them). who knows.

chase_me
11-14-2007, 09:56 PM
i don't beleive all men/women cheat, my husband and i have been together for 10 years, married for four years and are nothing but faithful to each other.

The death of your child is def more painful then a cheating spouse, hell the death of your spoise is def more devestating then the cheating. The whole internet site psychologist crap that was posted earlier is internet BS. If you have never lost a child either one you had already given birth to or miscarried one you were carrying you will never know to compare the two.

ssm sucks
11-14-2007, 10:11 PM
Well I believe that they are two totally different situations. When a SIGNIFICANT PARTNER cheats one questions their own self worth. When a child dies a/and long; short; traumatic; painful; death yes it is the worst pain. You'll never forget it, and you'll eventually keep your memory of said person. Not quite the same with the spouse. When a spouse cheats thoughts of self worth are questioned, every day of the realtionship changes, this person isn't who you thought they were. It is a beytral, loss of trust, self esteem, confidece etc, all the things that are not experienced during the death of a child. Not to mention most deaths are explainable, therefore leaving the family with an answer to the whys. In cheating alot of ppl never get the answers,
so in conclusion, and IMHO they are no no way compariable

Hope my thoughts make sense:)

b&aMom
11-14-2007, 10:14 PM
No, all men don't cheat, just like all women don't cheat. It's a character thing. You've either got character and a decent set of morals, or you don't. If someone cheats, you can bet they play fast and loose in other areas of life, as well.

I've been cheated on by someone I lived with for several years. Repeatedly. It could never compare to losing one of my children. Never. Ever.

tippikitty
11-14-2007, 10:23 PM
See I knew I couldn't be the only one to think it was worse to loose a child. To me it is just insane for someone to even say that it is worse to have a spouse cheat. I just can't grasp that.

b&aMom
11-14-2007, 10:27 PM
You're right, Tippi. I have a family member who had his wife cheat on him, and it broke up the marriage. He was devastated, so he thought. Then he lost a child. From THAT he has never recovered.

tippikitty
11-14-2007, 10:30 PM
Awww......see that is so horrible!!!!!

NO comparison.

Babzz
11-14-2007, 10:32 PM
My x husband did.
That is why he is an X

tippikitty
11-14-2007, 10:33 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: lynys</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Ah well. In the long run, it turns out to be the best thing. At least. for me it was. Took a long time to come to that conclusion though. </div></div>

See you got over a cheating husband...and good for you! See it isn't so bad, probably the best thing that could happen for you, so in reality it can't be the most devastating thing. /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

lynys
11-14-2007, 10:38 PM
I said I couldn't say for sure it was the worst thing, seeing as I have never lost a child.

However.... I still suffer from the pains of losing my marriage. You could ask my boyfriend all about that. Unfortunately, he has to deal with my constant questioning of me as an individual, my insecurities of our relationship, and the lack of faith I have in people.... (ie. him)

He has never done anything t odeserve the aftermath of having been betrayed. Fortunately for me, he is understanding and patient.

Macs II
11-14-2007, 10:43 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">However.... I still suffer from the pains of losing my marriage. You could ask my boyfriend all about that. Unfortunately, he has to deal with my constant questioning of me as an individual, my insecurities of our relationship, and the lack of faith I have in people.... (ie. him)

He has never done anything t odeserve the aftermath of having been betrayed. Fortunately for me, he is understanding and patient. </div></div>


Just give it a little time ....you need time to heal. It gets easier every passing day. You need to learn to trust again.

tippikitty
11-14-2007, 10:43 PM
Have you ever lost someone really close to you? Or watch someone die?

Macs II
11-14-2007, 10:45 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: *~TippiKitty~*</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Have you ever lost someone really close to you? Or watch someone die? </div></div>


Yes

lynys
11-14-2007, 10:47 PM
Yes, I have. I held two of my grandparents hands as they passed on. I dunno, I guess that did not affect me as much as what I went through.

Maybe because in some way, I look at death as being inevitable. We are all gonna do it at some point.... just when varies.

I live with the consequences of his infidelity everyday. And, it was a very painful experience.

tippikitty
11-14-2007, 10:47 PM
I know you have Macs sorry I was wondering about lynys. I guess I just have a hard time believing someone could think a cheating spouse is the most devastating thing that can happen to you. I just don't understand it.
I guess that's what makes us all different.

tippikitty
11-14-2007, 10:50 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: lynys</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
We are all gonna do it at some point.... just when varies.
</div></div>

Yes but it just the when that really makes the difference. If it is unexpected or before "their time" is what makes it hard.
Yes grandparents are going to die probably most times before we do so that is more expected. A child just isn't suppose to die before their parents.

Macs II
11-14-2007, 10:52 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I live with the consequences of his infidelity everyday. And, it was a very painful experience. </div></div>

You need to forgive him if you don't you will never get over this and it will follow you to any future relationship you may have.
Forgive him and then move on with your life.

tippikitty
11-14-2007, 11:00 PM
I don't believe in forgiveness. /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif
Screw him.../ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif You can move on without forgiving him.

lynys
11-14-2007, 11:02 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Macs</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I live with the consequences of his infidelity everyday. And, it was a very painful experience. </div></div>

You need to forgive him if you don't you will never get over this and it will follow you to any future relationship you may have.
Forgive him and then move on with your life. </div></div>

Nah. He won't be forgiven. I have found out more and more everyday about what he has done. He is far from forgiveness. /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

Tippy.... once again, and I have stated this over and over now. I have never once said that I personally agree with the statment that infidelity is worse then losing a child. I just stated that it has been said by some therapists. I personally cannot say for sure, because I have only lived one of those scenarios.

Macs II
11-14-2007, 11:04 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: *~TippiKitty~*</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I don't believe in forgiveness. /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif
Screw him.../ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif You can move on without forgiving him. </div></div>

maybe some people can but most can't ....they will always be angry and some will blame themselves.

KRP
11-14-2007, 11:32 PM
Ok I wasn't going to post in this thread simply because the topic of losing a child was brought up but here I am.

Having been cheated on before I met my husband and also going through the loss of twin boys 3 1/2 yrs ago when I was 6 mths pregnant, followed by a miscarriage a few months later... without a doubt the loss of a child(ren) is far worse then being cheated on.

Losing a child you blame yourself, regardless of what others say "it's not your fault" blah blah blah... you still blame yourself. For the longest time and to be honest to this day, I still feel less of a woman because of what my husband and I went through. I couldn't carry my sons to full term and because of my body not being able to hang on, we lost our first born children. The babies that we fought for 3 1/2 yrs of infertility for. Yes we went on to have 2 more children but the pain of losing our sons is still there and always will be. Has the pain eased? Yes it has some, but not as much as those who have not gone through it assume it should have after so much time. Those who have not gone through with losing a child sometimes assume that after so long you get over it/get passed it. Sorry but it just doesn't work that way. Yes you move on but the pain of losing your own child remains with you always.

§ienna
11-14-2007, 11:40 PM
Trust has to come in somewhere if you ever hope to have a relationship again, it could go both ways. I wouldn't want to be the one not receiving trust because HE had a bad experience in a previous relationship, something to think about.

Macs II
11-14-2007, 11:41 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sienna</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Trust has to come in somewhere if you ever hope to have a relationship again, it could go both ways. I wouldn't want to be the one not receiving trust because HE had a bad experience in a previous relationship, something to think about. </div></div>

Exactly

The 6th Member Of AC/DC
11-14-2007, 11:48 PM
It's common for people to not trust again , regardless if it's a new relationship. Previous experience has made them this way and they have to work through it themselves. There is nothing that their new partner can do but just support him/her in the meantime.

Macs II
11-14-2007, 11:59 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: The 6th Member Of AC/DC</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It's common for people to not trust again , regardless if it's a new relationship. Previous experience has made them this way and they have to work through it themselves. There is nothing that their new partner can do but just support him/her in the meantime. </div></div>

very true

Koss
11-15-2007, 12:02 AM
Just the ones you're attracted to.

msmiths
11-15-2007, 01:53 AM
posted by Tippykitty on nov 14 2007

Oh because all site on the internet are true. But please post a link to the site I would like to take a look at it.

I would also like to have a poll on here asking people what they think is more devastating.
Having a child die and or suffer a horrible painful death while you watch hopelessly by their side.
OR
Have you spouse $crew someone else.

Dear Tippykitty

You your self on this very board told me (I hate to burst your bubble) about 3 years ago when I posted a topic in comparision
with regards to the loss of a child and the loss of a pet there was no equation, now you are on here saying the worst pain is the loss of a child

have you had a change of heart in regards to this matter because then you were saying the loss of a freaking pet was more important than the loss of a child

even soc 67 came on here and made referance to your comment at that time

so tippy were you just being nasty and insensitive or just misinformed and talking off the top of your head

if I may remind you my post at the time was with regards to the loss of my son

and you made comment about how it did not compare to the loss of ones beloved pet

the loss of a child does not compare or even equate to the loss of a pet

remember those words tippy

but this is a subject with regards to the feelings one may have when ones spouse or partner has been unfaithful

it all hurts all of it

been there done that in all counts

1) the loss of a child was the worst

2) the cheating spouse on two occasions two wives
that was secondary

3) the loss of or having to put down the family pet
on several occasions

None of them can come close to the first one and never will


_________________________

mboy67
11-15-2007, 01:54 AM
I Have never Cheated But I have been cheated ON.

For the ones who can't get past trusting a new partner I say this. If you can't trust anyone your doomed to have failed relationships until you can get past the trust issue.

msmiths
11-15-2007, 02:01 AM
Originally Posted By: doreme
it is the most devastating thing that can happened..

and then by tippy kitty

Oh trust me honey there are far more devastating things that can happen. Losing a child comes top on my list. So see it could be worse.
_________________________
Dogs Have Owners ~ Cats Have Staff

msmiths
11-15-2007, 02:07 AM
walking in on a cheating spouse even on the same day you said goodbye to your dying father and he died

In my opinion has no comparision to the pain felt with the loss of a child

both are devastating

but more so the loss of the child

after that anything else can be dealt with as nothing else compares in no way shape or form

until you have lived it you just cannot imagine

but only speculate

Babzz
11-15-2007, 02:58 AM
I am so very sorry for your loss MLSSVCS..

My brother went through the loss of a child and I watched his family go through the horrible reality of it. His life was never the same after. They still celebrate his life all the time though. You just have to kind of find a new "normal" if you know what I mean. My brother is with his son now too and I can imagine them hanging out together and watching over all of us who are left behind. Probably laughing at us from time to time when we worry about unimportant things in life..
Hugs to you

b&aMom
11-15-2007, 07:15 AM
From personal experience, it takes quite some time to get over a cheater. In my own case, the relationship was three years, and there was "caught" cheating throughout. By the time I ended the relationship, I was done with "him", but not over it, and not trusting. Three years later I met someone that didn't cause all those red flags to be raised, and I was ready to trust again. I figured I wouldn't get sucked in again, because I knew so many of the tricks...and I held back a bit emotionally.

Two and a half years later, after living together during that time, he asked me to marry him. I had no fear, no trust issues. He had proven himself when I gave him all the freedom in the world to do whatever he wanted. It's been almost 14 years we've been together now, almost 11 of those married. I don't regret my decision at all, and I look back on that past relationship as a learning tool, although it ripped me apart at the time. And I haven't held any ill will for the ex for a very long time. He was seriously messed up. Not my problem anymore, and I no longer take it personally. It wasn't my flaw, but his.

KRP
11-15-2007, 10:04 AM
MLSSVCS, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I don't know the story behind your loss but knowing the feeling of losing a child(ren) having gone through it myself, I can't agree with you more on losing a pet is no where near the pain of losing a child.

Babzz you said it right, after losing a child your life is never the same after. After losing a child you do still celebrate their life no matter how long or short they were with you. You find a new 'normal' and sometimes that new normal for you is often found a little weird by others since they do not understand.

It's not something I'd wish even on my worst enemy.

11-15-2007, 11:06 AM
All men do not cheat.

Real men do not cheat. If you have the guts to face and fix a failing relationship, or have the guts to walk away from one, there is no need to ever cheat.

EyelashExtensions
11-15-2007, 11:55 AM
I don't think anyone can compare cheating with losing a child. It is a different kind of pain losing a child then being cheated on its just not the same.

J*B
11-15-2007, 11:58 AM
I think this thread kinda got off track... Btw... All men do not cheat!!
Some do have a conscience /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif

tippikitty
11-15-2007, 12:18 PM
Are you freaking kidding me? Something I said 3 YEARS ago??? Talk about not letting things go.
First off I would NEVER have said the loss of YOUR son was less then the loss of a pet. I'm not that insensitive.
I do however think that the loss of a child can compare and are right up there with the loss of a pet and that is because I do not have children so my pets are my children. That is just my opinion and I'm inutile to it. I may change my opinion when I have children and guess what????? I'm entitled to do that also. I will not have this argument again so say what you want.
But don't come on here and say that I said that directly relating to your son because I wouldn't have. I would have said it in a general statement.

newman
11-15-2007, 12:35 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: *~TippiKitty~*</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Are you freaking kidding me? Something I said 3 YEARS ago??? Talk about not letting things go.
First off I would NEVER have said the loss of YOUR son was less then the loss of a pet. I'm not that insensitive.
I do however think that the loss of a child can compare and are right up there with the loss of a pet and that is because I do not have children so my pets are my children. That is just my opinion and I'm inutile to it. I may change my opinion when I have children and guess what????? I'm entitled to do that also. I will not have this argument again so say what you want.
But don't come on here and say that I said that directly relating to your son because I wouldn't have. I would have said it in a general statement. </div></div>

Atta girl Tippy! Now you're really showing how sensitive and tactful you are! Loss of a pet is the same as a child? Get a grip and think before you reply. Pets are not expected to live 70 or 80 years. You know their mortality when you get them and they are petsnot humans! Hardly compares to the death of a five year old child. If you ever do have children that statement will be one you will regret!

tippikitty
11-15-2007, 12:50 PM
Do you have to bass me because I believe different then you? Well guess what? I don't believe in god either. Oh NO call the police. People should be allowed to have different opinions without being bashed by someone else.
This place really is becoming (using that word loosely) a joke and I don't need the bull**** right now in my life.

italiandomino
11-15-2007, 01:22 PM
Tippi .. you coming for a burger tonight /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif

doreme
11-15-2007, 01:22 PM
This tread has really gone bananas...

it's not about what hurts more unfaithfulness or the lost of a child
..we all know the anwer to that!!!

it's about do you think all men cheat yes or no???

no need to bash each other over the head with nasty comments

italiandomino
11-15-2007, 01:25 PM
When you say ... All men .. then the answer is no
some men .. then yes

Men were put on this earth to lay his seeds. An average male produces over million sperm cells every 15 minutes. So why put them to waste.

doreme
11-15-2007, 01:44 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ItalianDomino</div><div class="ubbcode-body">When you say ... All men .. then the answer is no
some men .. then yes

Men were put on this earth to lay his seeds. An average male produces over million sperm cells every 15 minutes. So why put them to waste. </div></div>

Just imagine over 1 million little Italiandomino's running around /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif

$Spendbender$
11-15-2007, 06:01 PM
This reminds me of a debate a few years back on here. At that time the argument was that losing a pet was far more devastating than losing a child (a ludicrous declaration in MY opinion..but whatever)

So.

If what is said today holds true, then what the originator of the thread would have you believe is that if having a spouse cheat on you is worse than the death of a child and if losing a pet is worse than losing a child - then that settles it. The spouse has already cheated and kids are disposable. Ergo you had better hope your dog doesn't die or it's curtains for you!

Honestly, suggesting that all spouses cheat "because mine did" is like saying that "my spouse donates blood and gives to charity therefore they ALL must".

AngelOnHigh
11-15-2007, 06:06 PM
lmfao... i so remember that stuff about the pet... lol

not all men cheat, not all woman cheat... i think after a person has found the right one, there is no need for another. but it has to be the right person.

doreme
11-15-2007, 06:09 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: $SpendBender$</div><div class="ubbcode-body">This reminds me of a debate a few years back on here. At that time the argument was that losing a pet was far more devastating than losing a child (a ludicrous declaration in MY opinion..but whatever)

So.

If what is said today holds true, then what the originator of the thread would have you believe is that if having a spouse cheat on you is worse than the death of a child and if losing a pet is worse than losing a child - then that settles it. The spouse has already cheated and kids are disposable. Ergo you had better hope your dog doesn't die or it's curtains for you!

Honestly, suggesting that all spouses cheat "because mine did" is like saying that "my spouse donates blood and gives to charity therefore they ALL must".

I am the originator of this post and i did not say such a thing..it got blown out of whack ..read the original tread before making a comment like that...there is nothing that hurts more than losing a child ..a parent..a brother or sister and a friend..there is a lot of hurt in this world..even a rude comment made by someone ..and it goes on and on....
</div></div>

Broken
11-15-2007, 06:21 PM
people cheat because they aren't getting something out of the relationship that they want
some people find cheating on your spouse exciting because it's suppose to be a big /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/no_no.gif but not all do it

italiandomino
11-15-2007, 11:40 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: doreme</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ItalianDomino</div><div class="ubbcode-body">When you say ... All men .. then the answer is no
some men .. then yes

Men were put on this earth to lay his seeds. An average male produces over million sperm cells every 15 minutes. So why put them to waste. </div></div>

Just imagine over 1 million little Italiandomino's running around /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif </div></div>

the world will be full of hard working ID's

not lazy welfare bums

Macs II
11-15-2007, 11:51 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ItalianDomino</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: doreme</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ItalianDomino</div><div class="ubbcode-body">When you say ... All men .. then the answer is no
some men .. then yes

Men were put on this earth to lay his seeds. An average male produces over million sperm cells every 15 minutes. So why put them to waste. </div></div>

Just imagine over 1 million little Italiandomino's running around /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif </div></div>

the world will be full of hard working ID's

not lazy welfare bums </div></div>

and it woudn't take long and you could put up a sign ...over one billion served lol

italiandomino
11-15-2007, 11:54 PM
I would love to go through a billion girls ... that would be a dream come true.

msmiths
11-16-2007, 12:05 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ItalianDomino</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would love to go through a billion girls ... that would be a dream come true. </div></div>

is your wife ok with that

msmiths
11-16-2007, 12:07 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: $SpendBender$</div><div class="ubbcode-body">This reminds me of a debate a few years back on here. At that time the argument was that losing a pet was far more devastating than losing a child (a ludicrous declaration in MY opinion..but whatever)

</div></div>

Yes thats the one

msmiths
11-16-2007, 12:26 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: *~TippiKitty~*</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Are you freaking kidding me? Something I said 3 YEARS ago??? Talk about not letting things go.
First off I would NEVER have said the loss of YOUR son was less then the loss of a pet. I'm not that insensitive.
I do however think that the loss of a child can compare and are right up there with the loss of a pet and that is because I do not have children so my pets are my children. That is just my opinion and I'm inutile to it. I may change my opinion when I have children and guess what????? I'm entitled to do that also. I will not have this argument again so say what you want.
But don't come on here and say that I said that directly relating to your son because I wouldn't have. I would have said it in a general statement. </div></div>

Yes Tippi you did say that, and yes it was three years ago

Guess it got stuck in my mind all this time tippy

Your words were I quote

I hate to burst your bubble but the loss of a child has no comparision to the loss of a pet

Tippy that has been in my mind for three years
my thoughts were how insensitive can this person be, but later I realized it was not insensitivity but in fact ignorance

and for that I say thank you for another learning experience in life for me

I am thankfull it was just a matter of ignorance, and we are all beyond that now

thanks for reading

wish You well

Babzz
11-16-2007, 12:39 AM
Perhaps you misunderstood what you read hun.
I have met Tippy personally and do not think it would be in her character to hurt someone deliberatly.
Grief can sometimes distort things. Again I am sorry for your loss.

geogett
11-16-2007, 12:41 AM
u do think? or u don't think???

starterwiz
11-16-2007, 12:43 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ItalianDomino</div><div class="ubbcode-body">When you say ... All men .. then the answer is no
some men .. then yes

Men were put on this earth to lay his seeds. An average male produces over million sperm cells every 15 minutes. So why put them to waste. </div></div>

A mollion sperm, and yours was the fastest...dammit.

starterwiz
11-16-2007, 12:44 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: The Shadow</div><div class="ubbcode-body">All men do not cheat.

Real men do not cheat. If you have the guts to face and fix a failing relationship, or have the guts to walk away from one, there is no need to ever cheat. </div></div>

msmiths
11-16-2007, 01:24 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Babzz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Perhaps you misunderstood what you read hun.
I have met Tippy personally and do think it would be in her character to hurt someone deliberatly.
Grief can sometimes distort things. Again I am sorry for your loss. </div></div>

Im sure you meant,,, you (dont think) it would be in her character
as I would agree even though I have not met her, im sure that is the case.

it was not a matter of distortion but a matter of words typed and thought as well as stated

but thats over now, I waited the three years it took to respond
and i have stated my thoughts on the matter

its all well and done now

lets all be family now ok

Praise the lord and pass the potatoes

italiandomino
11-16-2007, 08:04 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: starterwiz</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ItalianDomino</div><div class="ubbcode-body">When you say ... All men .. then the answer is no
some men .. then yes

Men were put on this earth to lay his seeds. An average male produces over million sperm cells every 15 minutes. So why put them to waste. </div></div>

A mollion sperm, and yours was the fastest...dammit. </div></div>

what is mollion ??

starterwiz
11-16-2007, 08:56 AM
A thousand thousand on Bud. /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif

LIKETOWIN
11-16-2007, 09:16 AM
hey no comparison to a child and a dog are you kidding me sure it hurts to loose a pet but get real would u say losing your mother is compared to the loss of your dog lol/

tippikitty
11-16-2007, 12:12 PM
Ok I'm going to take the high ground here.

I'm not going to argue over or defend my opinions. I will however say that if you took what I said 3 years ago personally then I apologies for that as I think you must have read it the wrong way.

Thank you Babzz for the kind words.

dancingqueen
11-16-2007, 12:51 PM
In the matter of forgiving a cheating spouce/significant other..
I was dating this woman for over 4 years. Things where getting serious. Eventually things wern't working out so well with money problems and family problems so we decided to break it off. I then find out afterwards that she was cheating on me for almost a year. I was angry and wished she would die in a fire. a few years later I came out of my closet and was always having a hard time keeping a reationship. I eventually came to realizing that I needed to forgive and forget. After doing that I am now in a happ relationship and am able to trust that when I am not around and if others are around that he is not cheating on me.

Sorry for the long monolouge but basicly what I'm trying to say is that forgiving does not mean you are saying "It's okay what you did" because it is never okay to cheat, but you are saying you are ready to move on and you will not associate one relationship with a previouse one, doing so is doing yourself a dis-service

dancingqueen
11-16-2007, 12:52 PM
B.T.W
God for you Tippy for being a grown up...
I used to bring things up from the distant past to make a point... when I was 8

C3PO
11-16-2007, 12:57 PM
Not all men cheat. I have around 10 what I would consider very good male friends who I do a lot of activities with. (Bowl, golf, hockey games, get together to watch football, play cards, camping.). We are like brothers in a way. We are ALL married men. Of those 10, I know of 2 that did cheat, 3 that probably would if the opportunity came along and 5 that haven't and in my opinion wouldn't.

As to the debate of which is worse, losing a child or getting cheated on, that's a personal perspective. You can't say one is worse than the other for everybody.
My heart goes out to those who have lost a child, but it also goes out to those who have 'lost' a mate.
I hear lots of statements like 'children come first'. To that I say 'bull****'. That's my own personal perspective. My wife comes first and then the children. When the main focus of your relationship with your significant other is the children, your relationship is doomed. (again, my own opinion). If the main focus of your relationship is your partner, the children will grow up in a healthy environment. Eventually children grow up and move away, and for those of you who's focus is on the children you may have lost that time where you had the chance to build the relationship with the person who now remains. (maybe).

italiandomino
11-16-2007, 08:11 PM
what language

AngelOnHigh
11-16-2007, 08:35 PM
some good points there c3po... you are making my mind do some thinking!

doreme
11-16-2007, 08:50 PM
yes c3po..you do make sense...if you are not happy with your other half than... the kids will not be happy either..kids have a six sense..they are super little humanes with bionic senser..and if parents think they can fool them..well they are soooooooo wrong. /ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whistle.gif

Macs II
11-16-2007, 08:57 PM
Lot of people only stay together because it's convenient and maybe for financial reasons.It's almost like they feel obligated to stay no matter what.
Most people cheat because they are not happy in their relationship..simple as that. I say get out first and then find someone who is more suited for you.