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Thread: Funny Women Stories

  1. #1
    Senior Member NativeMomma's Avatar
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    Default Funny Women Stories

    WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

    She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son
    is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of
    Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her
    husband is on the back of the milk carton.

    WOMEN'S REVENGE

    'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding
    items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her
    wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in
    her purse. 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?'
    I asked. 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband
    refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the
    most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

    UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

    I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how
    you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh,
    rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

    MARRIAGE SEMINAR

    While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
    Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
    'It is essential that husbands and
    wives know each other's likes and dislikes.' He
    addressed the man, 'Can you name your wife's
    favorite flower?' Tom leaned over, touched his
    wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?


    WIFE VS. HUSBAND

    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
    saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument
    and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As
    they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the
    husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
    'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

    WORDS

    A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
    women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife
    replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat
    everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and
    asked, 'What?'

    CREATION

    A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid
    and so beautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded,
    'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would
    be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be
    attracted to you!

    WHO DOES WHAT

    A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew
    the coffee each morning. The wife said, 'You should do it because you
    get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to
    get our coffee. The husband said, 'You are in charge of
    cooking around here and you should do it, because that is
    your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.' Wife
    replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in
    the Bible that the man should do the coffee. Husband
    replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.' So she
    fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed
    him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says
    'HEBREWS'

    The Silent Treatment

    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
    each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the
    next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for
    an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the
    first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
    of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it
    where he knew she would find it. The next morning, t he man
    woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed
    his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
    hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
    the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
    LIVE LIFE...LOVE LIFE...ENJOY LIFE TOO ITS FULLEST...YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN IT WILL COME AND TAKE YOU

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Default Re: Funny Women Stories

    love the last one.

  3. #3
    Senior Member SusyQ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Women Stories

    LOL @ this one.....

    WIFE VS. HUSBAND

    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
    saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument
    and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As
    they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the
    husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
    'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Default Re: Funny Women Stories

    I like Wife VS Husband too!!!

    And the last one!!!

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