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Thread: Banned from wal-mart

  1. #1
    Senior Member 85mcss's Avatar
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    Default Banned from wal-mart

    BANNED FROM WAL-MART...

    This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.

    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

    Dear Mrs. Samsel,

    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    And last, but not least.....

    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

    Sincerely,

    Wal-Mart

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Default Re: Banned from wal-mart

    LMAO ... right on Mr. Samsel.... this is a funny story/joke.

  3. #3
    Senior Member A*lil*Loopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Banned from wal-mart

    Ya know......my hubby is going to use that to get out of shopping. Thanks!

    Too funny!
    "Everyone can rise above their circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do."

  4. #4
    Senior Member MissMuffett's Avatar
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    Default Re: Banned from wal-mart

    :P love it..

  5. #5
    Senior Member GRIMM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Banned from wal-mart

    doesn't work..... you can only get about half way through the tent thing before a sales associate shuts you down, and if you look serious enough when you try 12 someone will help find the right size....disappointing

  6. #6
    Banned
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    Default Re: Banned from wal-mart

    lo, that was a good one..very funny...i must not show this to my hubby, cause knowing him he will try a couple of these things next time we go to walmart..

  7. #7
    Senior Member breeder's Avatar
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    Default Re: Banned from wal-mart

    This joke has been around for ages

  8. #8
    Senior Member Hope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Banned from wal-mart

    So, it's still funny.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Locked's Avatar
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    Default Re: Banned from wal-mart

    LOLOLOL... Cool, funny joke.
    Apparently, I'm "Damaging" the Public Internet Social system. Well that's unfrtunate. I wanna keep doing it now .

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