Editor grows up - expresses regret over porn

[Disgusted]

It concerns me terribly that a generation of young men are growing up totally ruined in terms of what a sexual relationship ought to be

This right here, this illustrates to me that Bluesky is not happy about what other people are doing in their bedroom; and the only reason to be unhappy about what others are doing in the privacy of their bedroom, is jealousy and regret.

Bluesky wants to be the authority to define what a sexual relationship ought to be, which would be based on his own experiences; activities outside of his experience must therefore sicken him.

Probably because he's gotten too old and feels that the sexual liberation ship has passed him by. Midlife crisis, perhaps?

Sometimes the motive is more important than the message.

[Bluesky]

Probably because I deal with it in the counselling office. More frequently than ever before. I have a front row seat into what it does. It's called compassion... the motive, that is.. so, no, there are other reason besides jealousy and regret. Sad attempt at a straw man, but I am afraid you have never been so misled.

[MagicFingers]

Yup. Now you are guessing at motives.

Years ago, there was this lengthy argument on these forums that porn is not harmful.

I have taken it upon myself ever since, to refute and continue to refute that argument with evidence from various sources. That is my obsession.. to get people to see how self-destructive they can be, and to moderate their viewing habits. It concerns me terribly that a generation of young men are growing up totally ruined in terms of what a sexual relationship ought to be, because of the unreal world of porn. And your efforts nor anyone else's will intimidate me to quit. If I can get one single person to stop and think twice about it, it will be worth it.

My only concern with your statement is that you are directing these concerns at just men and that young men are growing up ruined. I think that women wether they admit it or not are just as involved in viewing porn. As long as people are consenting and realize the unreal world of porn I really think there is little harm. I am a woman and have indulged in this viewing material myself. not addicted but have viewed it on occasion with my spouse. My husbands father passed down his few porn mags when my hubby was a young man, my hubby still has them and has kept them with the intention of passing them down. Almost like a right of passage......We also teach our children respect for all people including the opposite sex. Just my opinion but I can also see your concern as too many people men and or women don't know what it is like to respect the opposite sex and porn at an early age can make an impression. Of course there are many variations of porn some more harmful than others.

[Soundbear]

This right here, this illustrates to me that Bluesky is not happy about what other people are doing in their bedroom; and the only reason to be unhappy about what others are doing in the privacy of their bedroom, is jealousy and regret.

Bluesky wants to be the authority to define what a sexual relationship ought to be, which would be based on his own experiences; activities outside of his experience must therefore sicken him.

Probably because he's gotten too old and feels that the sexual liberation ship has passed him by. Midlife crisis, perhaps?

Sometimes the motive is more important than the message.

Here we see, once again, that Disgusted's primary reason for posting is to bring the other guy down, rather than discuss the topic.

Perhaps you would like to give some information, source and link that argues porn's value???

[Disgusted]

I don't think I need to defend pornography, nor would I choose to as I'm neither for nor against it.

But I can offer a solution to Bluesky who's clearly inundated with unhappy spouses.

Moving forward, tell people to engage in premarital sex.

Hear me out. If you engage in premarital sex, you'll get an idea of whether or not you've found a partner that will provide a satisfying sexual experience; you'll know what your partner likes, and they'll know what you like. If you marry someone that you haven't been 'familiar' with, you enter a marriage not knowing what you're getting.

Would you buy a car without test driving it first?

[Soundbear]

He's not dealing with unhappy spouses because they are having trouble with their sex lives, he's dealing with unhappy spouses who's husbands (usually) are addicted to porn.

Perhaps you could find proof of THIS contention, that pre-marital sex is positive.

Your car analogy doesn't work. Would you buy untested underwear??

[Disgusted]

He's not dealing with unhappy spouses because they are having trouble with their sex lives, he's dealing with unhappy spouses who's husbands (usually) are addicted to porn.

Perhaps you could find proof of THIS contention, that pre-marital sex is positive.

Your car analogy doesn't work. Would you buy untested underwear??

The only guys who watch porn have unfulfilled sex lives.

Car analogy works fine, you support it with your attempt to counter it. I would buy untested underwear, knowing full well it's neither expensive, nor going to last a really long time and doesn't really need to do much to perform.

[Soundbear]

The only guys who watch porn have unfulfilled sex lives.

...in your opinion. Unsupported, despite requests.

Car analogy works fine, you support it with your attempt to counter it. I would buy untested underwear, knowing full well it's neither expensive, nor going to last a really long time and doesn't really need to do much to perform.

I won't do a wash next week. Gimme your address. You should be happier with what I'll send.

[Bluesky]

The only guys who watch porn have unfulfilled sex lives.

This is so untrue. Porn deceives guys into thinking they have unfulfilled sex lives. The porn film is ACTED out, in situations and ways that are totally unrealistic, but leads the guy to expect his spouse to perform the same way. Unfulfillment needs to be addressed at levels that go deeper than mere sexual fulfillment.

[stupefied]

The arguments against pornography are many, ranging from insistence that porn degrades women and is morally reprehensible to the assertion that pornography viewing is the cause of sex crimes. However, over the years, there have been numerous studies done on this subject. And, reports The Scientist, it appears that there are links between sex crimes and pornography. Just not the sort of links many of us might have expected. Instead of causing sex crimes, porn might actually contribute to reducing their incidence.
http://phys.org/news187448961.html

There's always a different prespective.

[stupefied]

A scientist at the University of Hawaii has put his head together to discover just how bad the effects of pornography are on society at large. With the advent of the Web, porn is so readily available and so conveniently free, that it's hard not to imagine that partakers' minds are becoming perverted beyond...

Diamond's study is entirely data-driven. And what interesting data they are. For example, he found that as far back as 2004, there was a study that showed 28 percent of people had downloaded porn at work. He even found a "Christianity Today" survey that showed 33 percent of clergy had visited a sexually explicit Web site. And that was in the year 2000.

Diamond looked at the relationships between porn and sex crimes in various parts of the world. He says that when police suggest that sex offenders are porn users, this is meaningless, as most men are porn users. And, having plowed through every piece of research he could find, he concluded that "What does correlate highly with sex offense is a strict, repressive religious upbringing."...
http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-205_162-6286110.html

Interesting.

[stupefied]

In their survey of 688 young Danish adults (men = 316; women = 372), Hald and Malamuth found that respondents construed the viewing of hardcore pornography as beneficial to their sex lives, their attitudes towards sex, their perceptions and attitudes towards members of the opposite sex, toward life in general, and over all. The obtained beneficial effects were statistically significant for all but one measure across both sexes. Now here is the kicker: A positive correlation was obtained between the amount of hardcore pornography that was viewed and the impact of the benefits reaped. This positive correlation was found for both sexes. In other words, the more that one watched porn, the stronger the benefits (for both sexes)! There you have it.
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j...wFX3VWlRTWe9pw

Wow, this sure is a popular subject for studies.

[Soundbear]

""What does correlate highly with sex offense is a strict, repressive religious upbringing"

No surprise to us, either. But I'm sure your definition of "strict, repressive religious upbringing" is quite different from ours.

[Soundbear]

Wow, this sure is a popular subject for studies.

Hey, it IS a popular pastime!!!

We wouldn't be here without it!!