Interesting study on children of GLBT parents

[Soundbear]

It's not?

That's news to me.

Then look around a bit. It's not as cut and dried as some would wish. Some quotes:

"Also, in 2012 ABC News reported concerning actress Cynthia Nixon: "Cynthia Nixon stands by her statement that she is gay by choice, despite the backlash she’s received from members of the gay community."

"Given the existence of ex-homosexuals and given the existence of human cultures where homosexuality has apparently not existed, the position that homosexuality is ultimately a choice in individuals or at the very least can be a choice in individuals has strong evidential support."

"In short, the distinction is between characteristics that may be altered, and that thus do not merit civil-rights protection, and immutable characteristics, which do merit civil-rights protection. This is why sexual orientation does not merit civil-rights protection, while characteristics such as race, sex, and religion do." (not sure about this one SB)

http://www.conservapedia.com/Homosexuality_and_choice

[lynys]

Seems to me that our governments and society are certainly more accepting of GLBT persons. Of course there will always be some who oppose, but you'll find that with any subject (ie. religion, politics, race, gender, etc.)

[MagicFingers]

Well funny enough I have two friends they are in a same sex relationship. They are married. They have three beautiful children together. ONe is adopted and the other two are biological. Or at least half biological. The children are 5,3 and the adopted is just a little over 1. These children want for nothing, they are loved by both and by both families, they are missing out on absolutely nothing. Growing up with two parents who respect and love each other is what is important. Not the fact that one is female and one is male.

[Soundbear]

Well funny enough I have two friends they are in a same sex relationship. They are married. They have three beautiful children together. ONe is adopted and the other two are biological. Or at least half biological. The children are 5,3 and the adopted is just a little over 1. These children want for nothing, they are loved by both and by both families, they are missing out on absolutely nothing. Growing up with two parents who respect and love each other is what is important. Not the fact that one is female and one is male.

I have a freind who buys his wife AND his daughters flowers on their birthdays. Not only does this encourage the girls, it show the special care a man should have for his wife and all femaies to his boys.

Single gender parented families can't do this.

I would never argue with you that many, many children are raised in single parent, or single gender families turn out to be well adjusted. I just don't believe it's generally true.

[MagicFingers]

so why can't we teach our kids to respect people despite gender.....What should it matter. So my friends children witnesses mom1 buy mom2 flowers and witnesses the respect and love between the two. How is that any different. Message is the same. The special care one gives another to their significant other. What difference does it make if it is man to woman or same gender. People get so hung up on genders, we can still give the same messages without those typical mother/father male/female roles.

[Soundbear]

so why can't we teach our kids to respect people despite gender,....... we can still give the same messages without those typical mother/father male/female roles.

The first statement, we could, but I doubt it often really happens.

The second, you can TALK all day long about how we should respect each other, but the day to day interaction between a husband and wife is something that cannot be concealed from the children, AND it teaches them more than we know.

IMO.

[MagicFingers]

Being that i have studied, psychology, children and adolescence, children and their welfare, children with exceptional needs along with many other courses that directly discuss this topic I would have to say i respectfully disagree with you.

It doesn't matter gender, we as adults create that, we try to slot people into certain roles sex role stereotypes and the like. A child does not need a male and female to teach them about respect they just need two people to teach them about respect. They don't need a mom to teach them about sensitivity they just need a sensitive person to teach them that, they don't need a dad to teach them strength they can learn that from a strong loving person. Everything a child needs to learn just needs to be role modeled by a consistent important person in their lives sex/gender plays no part in that. It is the adult population that tries to put labels and identification markers on roles/behaviours when all we need are appropriate consistent role models for children despite gender.

Children when left to their own devices without adult interference are excepting and loving they naturally don't see skin colour or gender or ability all they see are people either doing goood or bad. It is when adults place their on perceptions or misconceptions on a child do they change their own perceptions.

[Soundbear]

Being that i have studied, psychology, children and adolescence, children and their welfare, children with exceptional needs along with many other courses that directly discuss this topic I would have to say i respectfully disagree with you.

It doesn't matter gender, we as adults create that, we try to slot people into certain roles sex role stereotypes and the like. A child does not need a male and female to teach them about respect they just need two people to teach them about respect. They don't need a mom to teach them about sensitivity they just need a sensitive person to teach them that, they don't need a dad to teach them strength they can learn that from a strong loving person. Everything a child needs to learn just needs to be role modeled by a consistent important person in their lives sex/gender plays no part in that. It is the adult population that tries to put labels and identification markers on roles/behaviours when all we need are appropriate consistent role models for children despite gender.

Children when left to their own devices without adult interference are excepting and loving they naturally don't see skin colour or gender or ability all they see are people either doing goood or bad. It is when adults place their on perceptions or misconceptions on a child do they change their own perceptions.

I know you've been taught that. But not by unbiased people.

Men and women are different. Their attitudes are different in so many ways. The relationship between a man and a woman is not and will never be the same as between two men or two women. Therefore the way that relationship works can never be seen by children in single gender households.

[MagicFingers]

Maybe you are the one that is biased and needs some current lessons in child psychology and child development. Young children don't know the difference. Adults teach them the difference. Children are not born oh im a boy so I wear blue and I must be tough and Im a girl so I must wear pink and be girly adults teach them that.

I think you need to actually study child psychology and child development.....you might learn a few more things. But then you have to be open to it and as far as I have seen you are so stuck on your mind set that won't happen.

[Soundbear]

Maybe you are the one that is biased and needs some current lessons in child psychology and child development. Young children don't know the difference. Adults teach them the difference. Children are not born oh im a boy so I wear blue and I must be tough and Im a girl so I must wear pink and be girly adults teach them that.

I think you need to actually study child psychology and child development.....you might learn a few more things. But then you have to be open to it and as far as I have seen you are so stuck on your mind set that won't happen.

And I believe the reverse to be true.

Or, do you wish to discuss specifics, or not??

[MagicFingers]

No I don't wish to discuss further. I have learned a long time ago people with your beliefs will never change. It is because of those beliefs that we have intolerance, and hate. It is the old school of thinking which isn't right. Back in the day they put people who were different in any way shape or form into institutions. Thank god some people came to their senses but not all. Some still believe that the institutions should be in existence they are wrong but can't convince them of that. I won't bother trying to convince you. If you want to believe what you do so be it. But my children and my friends children will learn by example with proper role models not gender stereotyping role models.

[Bluesky]

If you ever catch Soundbear expressing hatred to anyone, I`ll eat my hat.
But as long as he has beliefs that don't change with every gust of wind, I give him kudos. What this world needs is men of conviction who are not afraid to stand for truth. He may not be able to express himself as you or would like, but for all the crap he has received on this board, his character is solid. My hat is off to him.

[Upper Decker]

Beliefs are whats wrong with the world today. One of my absolute favorite lines to live by was in the movie Dogma.

" I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier..."

[Soundbear]

No I don't wish to discuss further. I have learned a long time ago people with your beliefs will never change. It is because of those beliefs that we have intolerance, and hate. It is the old school of thinking which isn't right. Back in the day they put people who were different in any way shape or form into institutions. Thank god some people came to their senses but not all. Some still believe that the institutions should be in existence they are wrong but can't convince them of that. I won't bother trying to convince you. If you want to believe what you do so be it. But my children and my friends children will learn by example with proper role models not gender stereotyping role models.

Your idea of proper, of course.

Remember the other viewpoint when you see your boys acting like boys and your girls acting like girls.

For all your "examples", they will still be what they are.

[Soundbear]

I'm trying to think of examples of gendered, non-cultural behaviour. Would anyone care to help.

More women will be nurses, forever, than men.

More men will be truck drivers.

More women will be teachers of younger childen.

And there will always be more strip clubs featuring women.

Because the genders are different. (Two halves of a whole, IMO, but that's another discussion)

[Disgusted]

Look everyone, all Soundbear is saying, is that if kids don't grow up watching their parents fight, and occasionally catch a glimpse of them having sex, they're going to choose to be gay.

Frankly, I agree.

[Soundbear]

Another translation??

[Soundbear]

Being that i have studied, psychology, children and adolescence, children and their welfare, children with exceptional needs along with many other courses that directly discuss this topic I would have to say i respectfully disagree with you.
.......

I wonder if you were taught this:

"Despite the fact that children had been more or less successfully raised for thousands of years, child-rearing was reinvented as a psychological task that required expert guidance if it was to be done properly."

http://tanadineen.com/writer/writings/custody.htm

[Disgusted]

I wonder if you were taught this:

"Despite the fact that children had been more or less successfully raised for thousands of years, child-rearing was reinvented as a psychological task that required expert guidance if it was to be done properly."

http://tanadineen.com/writer/writings/custody.htm

"Successfully", what does that mean? Besides, "Not dead".

Child rearing is a psychological task, but it always has been. You absolutely do not need any psychology training to raise healthy, well adjusted kids.

Common sense and common decency would do just fine, were they apparently not in such short supply.

[stupefied]

I have a freind who buys his wife AND his daughters flowers on their birthdays. Not only does this encourage the girls, it show the special care a man should have for his wife and all femaies to his boys.

hmm, one might argue that you are missing the point all together. Actually MagicFingers made the point quite well.

So I finally decided to actually read the article referenced in the first post. Some disturbing information in there. However, I wonder just how much of the 'blame' can be placed on homosexual parents as a whole. The thing that sticks out to me is that attitudes towards homosexuals have changed a lot in the past twenty years and by leaps and bounds over the past 40. That likely plays a big part in the in a number of the statistics. I imagine a similar study done 40 years from now with children being born today and over the next 20 years who are considered to have homosexual parents will look a whole lot different. The most important qoute from the article is IMO

Author Mark Regnerus emphasizes the traditional caveat in social science, warning against leaping to conclusions regarding "causality." In other words, just because there are statistical correlations between having a homosexual parent and experiencing negative outcomes does not automatically prove that having a homosexual parent is what caused the negative outcomes--other factors could be at work.

I know my first reaction to the idea of same sex couples adopting children wasn't exactly supportive. But the more I think about it the less I see it as bad. The really important things to learn while growing up have little to do with gender. In some ways the children will probably be better off.