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Thread: Cheating or been cheated on?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Bluesky's Avatar
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    Default Cheating or been cheated on?

    This is a powerful piece of writing by someone who has been there.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/12/fa...nted=all&_r=1&
    The heart of the human problem is the problem of the human heart.

  2. #2
    Senior Member dancingqueen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    I've been cheated on, never cheated. I have also been "the other man"
    I find the emotional turmoil caused by being cheated on is often overstated and over dramatized.
    That is just a personal reflection however, I got over being cheated on pretty quickly, and without any bitterness.
    Love like you've never been hurt
    Sing like nobody's listening
    Dance like nobody's watching
    And Live Like it's Heaven on Earth
    - Mark Twain

  3. #3
    Senior Member lynys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by dancingqueen View Post
    I've been cheated on, never cheated. I have also been "the other man"
    I find the emotional turmoil caused by being cheated on is often overstated and over dramatized.
    That is just a personal reflection however, I got over being cheated on pretty quickly, and without any bitterness.
    I fyou found that being cheated on was no big deal, then your relationship clearly wasn't very committed to start with.
    I solemnly swear that I am up to no good

    "I cannot live on bread alone...the presence of my dearest Lynys sustains me" - RWGR, 2008

    "I did not eat today. I do not need to eat any day, because the presence of my dearest Lynys sustains me" - Aristotle, 2014

    "There are three things I've learned never to discuss with people; Religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin." - Linus Van Pelt

    "If there is a god, why did he make me an atheist?" - Ricky Gervais

  4. #4

    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by lynys View Post
    I fyou found that being cheated on was no big deal, then your relationship clearly wasn't very committed to start with.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  5. #5
    Senior Member dancingqueen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    That is quite possibly true.
    Or sex just means something totally different to me, if your relationship is a slave to sex then it also isn't very committed.
    Love like you've never been hurt
    Sing like nobody's listening
    Dance like nobody's watching
    And Live Like it's Heaven on Earth
    - Mark Twain

  6. #6
    IMHO
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    IF TWO PEOPLE ARE NOT MARRIED..it is not cheating to hop into bed with whomever you want. Once the vows have been taken it then would be cheating. Of course that is MY definition only.

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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by IMHO View Post
    IF TWO PEOPLE ARE NOT MARRIED..it is not cheating to hop into bed with whomever you want. Once the vows have been taken it then would be cheating. Of course that is MY definition only.
    WOW...Ok so my definition of cheating is being in what you believe is a monogamous relationship and then taking on another relationship with someone else and not telling the other person so that they can make an informed decision.

    Marriage is a piece of paper only. Some people consider themselves married without that piece of paper does that make their relationship any less committed than someone with a piece of paper?
    MagicFingers

  8. #8
    Senior Member lynys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by IMHO View Post
    IF TWO PEOPLE ARE NOT MARRIED..it is not cheating to hop into bed with whomever you want. Once the vows have been taken it then would be cheating. Of course that is MY definition only.
    Uh, ok?

    When you have committed to someone, whether with a piece of paper or not, and then betray them, that is cheating.
    I solemnly swear that I am up to no good

    "I cannot live on bread alone...the presence of my dearest Lynys sustains me" - RWGR, 2008

    "I did not eat today. I do not need to eat any day, because the presence of my dearest Lynys sustains me" - Aristotle, 2014

    "There are three things I've learned never to discuss with people; Religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin." - Linus Van Pelt

    "If there is a god, why did he make me an atheist?" - Ricky Gervais

  9. #9

    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Out of all the bone head moves, cheating is the worst.

    Been there and had it done to me. Learned a brutally tough lesson.

    Never again. The article attached is very good. Thanks for the posting.

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    Senior Member CANDY_74's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Ive been cheated on before and it hurts.....

    You feel unloved, abandoned, lonely, and left wondering why and wanting to know what you did wrong.....

  11. #11
    Senior Member CANDY_74's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by IMHO View Post
    IF TWO PEOPLE ARE NOT MARRIED..it is not cheating to hop into bed with whomever you want. Once the vows have been taken it then would be cheating. Of course that is MY definition only.
    I read this and though WHAT THE HECK IS THIS PERSON ON?!
    You seriously think that if you're in a relationship (but NOT married) that you can go and s.c.r.e.w whoever you want, and its NOT cheating??!! WOW!! I think someones a little fubarred in the head......(smh)

  12. #12
    Senior Member dancingqueen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by CANDY_74 View Post
    Ive been cheated on before and it hurts.....

    You feel unloved, abandoned, lonely, and left wondering why and wanting to know what you did wrong.....
    So you feel like you need to be validated as a human being by how your significant other treats you?
    Love like you've never been hurt
    Sing like nobody's listening
    Dance like nobody's watching
    And Live Like it's Heaven on Earth
    - Mark Twain

  13. #13
    Senior Member dancingqueen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by IMHO View Post
    IF TWO PEOPLE ARE NOT MARRIED..it is not cheating to hop into bed with whomever you want. Once the vows have been taken it then would be cheating. Of course that is MY definition only.
    I hope you make this distinction clear with anyone you are involved with....
    Love like you've never been hurt
    Sing like nobody's listening
    Dance like nobody's watching
    And Live Like it's Heaven on Earth
    - Mark Twain

  14. #14
    IMHO
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    My point is that IF you are not married then you are only DATING someone. Once it leaves the dating area and people marry...then it is cheating. The vows do not apply until marriage. So one should feel free to experiment before being tied down to one person via marriage.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Bluesky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Am I that out of touch? Have I been married too long? I am assuming that if two people have sex, there is an implicit agreement that this is more than a casual date; i.e. you are committed to one another by the nature of the Act.
    The heart of the human problem is the problem of the human heart.

  16. #16
    Senior Member dancingqueen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bluesky View Post
    Am I that out of touch? Have I been married too long? I am assuming that if two people have sex, there is an implicit agreement that this is more than a casual date; i.e. you are committed to one another by the nature of the Act.
    I like to think that you are not, unless it has been expressed beforehand, I presume any sexual interaction to mean some level of commitment.
    Love like you've never been hurt
    Sing like nobody's listening
    Dance like nobody's watching
    And Live Like it's Heaven on Earth
    - Mark Twain

  17. #17
    Senior Member dancingqueen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by IMHO View Post
    My point is that IF you are not married then you are only DATING someone. Once it leaves the dating area and people marry...then it is cheating. The vows do not apply until marriage. So one should feel free to experiment before being tied down to one person via marriage.
    So Cheating is only something that can happen to people that support the institution of marriage? Atheists can't cheat or be cheated on?
    You may resume back-peddling.
    Love like you've never been hurt
    Sing like nobody's listening
    Dance like nobody's watching
    And Live Like it's Heaven on Earth
    - Mark Twain

  18. #18
    Senior Member lynys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by dancingqueen View Post
    So Cheating is only something that can happen to people that support the institution of marriage? Atheists can't cheat or be cheated on?
    You may resume back-peddling.
    Uh... atheists get married.
    I solemnly swear that I am up to no good

    "I cannot live on bread alone...the presence of my dearest Lynys sustains me" - RWGR, 2008

    "I did not eat today. I do not need to eat any day, because the presence of my dearest Lynys sustains me" - Aristotle, 2014

    "There are three things I've learned never to discuss with people; Religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin." - Linus Van Pelt

    "If there is a god, why did he make me an atheist?" - Ricky Gervais

  19. #19
    Senior Member dancingqueen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by lynys View Post
    Uh... atheists get married.
    Marriage is a religious institution, those that do not marry for religious reasons are only doing it for ascetics.... that, or to appease someone else.
    Love like you've never been hurt
    Sing like nobody's listening
    Dance like nobody's watching
    And Live Like it's Heaven on Earth
    - Mark Twain

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Cheating or been cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by dancingqueen View Post
    So you feel like you need to be validated as a human being by how your significant other treats you?
    I don't think this has anything to do with feeling "validated". It's a HUGE betrayal of trust and often leaves people feeling this way. It's not only when you're cheated on either... any time trust is broken it's a let down. If you don't think so, you must already be emotionally empty.

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