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    Senior Member Daiv's Avatar
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    Default Kids Know Best

    My son has been coming home from Junior Kindergarten with almost his entire lunch.

    Since school started, September 3, he has eaten his whole lunch twice. Usually he has a sandwich, apple or grapes, juice, water, and a couple snacks (fruit snacks, cookie packs, that type of thing). I don't really expect him to eat it ALL, but some of it.


    The other day, my husband had sent him hot dogs. He put the wieners in a thermos (to keep them warm) and had a bun with ketchup on it ready for him. He came home and had drank his juice and eaten HALF a bun with ketchup on it - not even with a wiener!

    My husband asked him if maybe he couldn't open his thermos. He said no. I said, 'Did you ask for help?' He said, 'No'. So, that's his mistake - he should ask for help. BUT shouldn't somebody be in the kindergarten room be watching these kids? Maybe making small talk with them - such as, oh, that's a nice lunch or oohhh you have pizza? I love pizza. Or SOMETHING!

    One day my kid came home and had eaten nothing but grapes because somebody spilled his cheesies and apparently he didn't know he had a sandwich at the bottom (in a separate zippered area). (I don't know how he didn't know, but that's beside the point.) Nobody even knew somebody had spilled his cheesies (he said he picked them up before anybody saw). I would THINK somebody would have said, "All you have is grapes today?! That's all your mom/dad sent you?"

    Maybe I'm expecting too much, but I don't think so. My kid is four. He's just learning how to fend for himself. Somebody should be there helping all these kids - making sure they have a lunch, making sure they are eating, helping them open things if they need. I'm not the only one with this concern. I work with a guy whose son is in my son's class - he has the same issues. My sister's kid is also in my son's class - she has the same issues. There is a parent/teacher meeting next week, so I'm definitely going to bring up these concerns, but I want to know - am I wrong? How can they be checking to make sure kids aren't bringing peanut butter or any of the other 'banned' foods to school if nobody is even looking?

    I know somebody who is taking Early Childhood Education right now. She told me that apparently (this could differ between schools), if a kid doesn't want to eat, they don't need to - they know what is best. I find that to be a load of crap. If kids know best, why do I put my kid to bed at a decent hour? He obviously knows best. Kids just want to play, so as soon as one kid says he's done, they probably all follow suit.

    Then my kid comes home at 4:00 and is starving so now he wants to eat his lunch. I'm not going to make him wait until 5:30/6:00 when his dad gets home to eat, so I usually let him at least have something. Now at supper time, he doesn't want to eat. So then before bed, he's starving and wants a snack.

    And they wonder why kids are overweight! Obviously, a lot of it is because they're not outside enough and getting enough activity, but this doesn't help.

    Why are we letting kids be their own boss? I mean LITTLE kids who really do NOT know any better?
    You leave me no choice, I swish my cape at you. - El Chupacabra

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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Kids don't know best! That is why they have caregivers. They need guidance. At one time the schools had lunch monitors. They watched the children and helped them with their lunches. The children had to sit at their desks and eat at least some of their lunch!

    Do the children not have breaks several times a day to snack?

    I would never force a child to eat especially something they don't like! But they would have to sit at the table with the rest of the family. So I don't see the problem of having the children sit with their lunch at school!

    I guess the experts know better!
    The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peaceful your life will become. ~ Mandy Hale

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    Senior Member Daiv's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    They do have lunch monitors - two adults.
    So what the hell are these two adults doing, is what I want to know.
    I will find out next week at the parent/teacher meetings.

    I don't mean they should 'force' the kids to eat, but they should be making sure the kids are eating if they are hungry and not just too eager to go play.
    And if they see a kid has nothing BUT grapes or cheesies or something, they should be looking in their lunch bags and asking questions.
    You leave me no choice, I swish my cape at you. - El Chupacabra

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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Well I know for a fact, if I was allowed to play and not stop to sit and eat, that is exactly what I would have done. Played! I used to think eating was just a way to ruin my fun. A chore. I wish I was like that now.
    The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peaceful your life will become. ~ Mandy Hale

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    Senior Member dancingqueen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Most schools will have lunch monitors, those monitors are good, but they have not yet mastered the art of inter-dimensional space travel. How many kids would you imagine are in your kid's school? think about the classrooms for students with special needs. And heaven forbid if the grade 8 student volunteers want to have their lunch too. Trying to make a kid eat when they are not hungry is like pulling teeth, now imagine doing that with 20 or 30 kids, or 15 of them with special or behavioral needs...
    There are worse things for your kid than not eating his hot dogs... If he's hungry, he will eat it at snack time, otherwise, he will eat dinner at home.
    Teachers, teacher aids, educational assistants ARE NOT YOUR BABYSITTERS.
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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Typical blaming of society. It's not my fault.

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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Quote Originally Posted by dancingqueen View Post
    Teachers, teacher aids, educational assistants ARE NOT YOUR BABYSITTERS.
    When it comes to three, four, and five year olds, YES, I think they are their babysitters! These children are babies!
    The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peaceful your life will become. ~ Mandy Hale

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    Senior Member dancingqueen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Noyance View Post
    When it comes to three, four, and five year olds, YES, I think they are their babysitters! These children are babies!
    It doesn't matter what you think. You don't need an education to babysit, those teachers and other assistants have mostly done their fair share of babysitting. They get to eat lunch too.
    Love like you've never been hurt
    Sing like nobody's listening
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    And Live Like it's Heaven on Earth
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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Quote Originally Posted by dancingqueen View Post
    It doesn't matter what you think. You don't need an education to babysit, those teachers and other assistants have mostly done their fair share of babysitting. They get to eat lunch too.
    Did I say anything about them not eating their lunch? These teachers are babysitters, nurses, and caregivers all rolled into one. What, these little kids should be on their own during the lunch hour? With no assistance?
    The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peaceful your life will become. ~ Mandy Hale

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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Noyance View Post
    Did I say anything about them not eating their lunch? These teachers are babysitters, nurses, and caregivers all rolled into one. What, these little kids should be on their own during the lunch hour? With no assistance?
    Oh geez.
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    Senior Member Daiv's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Quote Originally Posted by dancingqueen View Post
    It doesn't matter what you think. You don't need an education to babysit, those teachers and other assistants have mostly done their fair share of babysitting. They get to eat lunch too.
    Who said they don't get to eat lunch? These are adult monitors. It shouldn't take them that long to eat their lunch. On any given day, I woke with four other adults. We get an hour long lunch break. It only takes us about ten minutes to actually eat our lunch.
    You leave me no choice, I swish my cape at you. - El Chupacabra

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    Senior Member Daiv's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Quote Originally Posted by dancingqueen View Post
    Most schools will have lunch monitors, those monitors are good, but they have not yet mastered the art of inter-dimensional space travel. How many kids would you imagine are in your kid's school? think about the classrooms for students with special needs. And heaven forbid if the grade 8 student volunteers want to have their lunch too. Trying to make a kid eat when they are not hungry is like pulling teeth, now imagine doing that with 20 or 30 kids, or 15 of them with special or behavioral needs...
    There are worse things for your kid than not eating his hot dogs... If he's hungry, he will eat it at snack time, otherwise, he will eat dinner at home.
    Teachers, teacher aids, educational assistants ARE NOT YOUR BABYSITTERS.
    Why do you always bring in special needs kids? Since most special needs kids are integrated now (or a lot of them are, anyway, maybe not most), I doubt there would be 15 of them in one classroom. How do you know these monitors are good? I'm assuming you know every monitor. Or are you assuming you know every monitor based on your knowledge of a few?

    Quote Originally Posted by official soonet pu$$ycat View Post
    Typical blaming of society. It's not my fault.
    Society is the one who makes the rules that teachers have to follow, so yes, I blame society.

    Quote Originally Posted by official soonet pu$$ycat View Post
    I'm sure she called the teacher today to ask about this. What did the teacher say, we're curious. Afterall if a kid is starving I would have called the school and talked to the teacher before coming here to rant. If this can wait until next week's parent teacher meeting, the concern cannot be that bad.
    No, actually, I didn't. I suppose I should have used a different word. He isn't 'starving' when he comes home, but he is hungry enough that he gobbles his lunch.
    I did leave a note in his agenda, though, and was told that there are two adult monitors in the room. I assumed that meant they stayed in the room. Maybe I am mistaken.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Noyance View Post
    How do you know the monitors are good? I remember the Grade Eights monitoring my seven year old child! The Grade Eights, in that particular school were nothing but bullies! "If you don't give me your dessert, I will put your name on the board!" My seven year old would allow these kids to bully her. So would others!

    Three, four and five year old children NEED to be asked to sit down and eat their lunch. They NEED to be told they have to eat before going to play! Maybe they won't eat but they should sit while the others eat!
    I agree. If they had to sit in their desks quietly (not to say absolutely silent, but quiet), maybe they would eat.

    Quote Originally Posted by official soonet pu$$ycat View Post
    The teachers DO do that at that school. They help out but they can't force feed.
    If they helped out, they would have seen that somebody spilled my sons cheesies. They would have seen that he needed help opening his thermos. I am starting to think they don't help out. He should have asked, but as the teacher wrote back to me, it takes kids time to get comfortable eating. Maybe it takes them time to be comfortable asking for help. I will discuss it when we have our first parent/teacher meeting.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Noyance View Post
    When it comes to three, four, and five year olds, YES, I think they are their babysitters! These children are babies!
    This is MY baby. If other parents don't care, that's on them. I do care, though, and I want to make sure my child is being treated like the child that he is so that he can grow up to be the best that he can be. He is four. He should be treated as such.
    That being said, I know at least two other parents are concerned about this.

    I am concerned, but I'm not concerned enough that I'm going to go storming into the school without talking to the teacher first. I'm not worried that he is going to starve to death, but I don't want this to be a habit that carries on throughout the whole school year.
    You leave me no choice, I swish my cape at you. - El Chupacabra

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    Senior Member KDawg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Noyance View Post
    When it comes to three, four, and five year olds, YES, I think they are their babysitters! These children are babies!
    If these teachers are babysitters, then why are they getting paid 60-90K per year? This is a rhetorical question but as a taxpayer that attitude is offensive.
    The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never be certain they're authentic.
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    Senior Member Daiv's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    I'm not actually discussing the teacher. I'm discussing the lunch hour monitors.
    You leave me no choice, I swish my cape at you. - El Chupacabra

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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    If it's a problem call the school. You seem to have no idea what the situation is. Don't write it in his agenda because that's pure laziness. If you have a problem do something about it.

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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Quote Originally Posted by KDawg View Post
    If these teachers are babysitters, then why are they getting paid 60-90K per year? This is a rhetorical question but as a taxpayer that attitude is offensive.
    You can be as offended as much as you like! Teachers are more than teachers. Especially in the Kindergarten classroom. I said it up there. They are a lot of things. But they are there to make sure the littlest students in the school are being taken care of first and foremost. Someone better be responsible for these children more than seven hours a day! Five days a week!
    The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peaceful your life will become. ~ Mandy Hale

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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    As an educational assistant, I can vouch for the fact that though we aren't babysitters we are definitely caregivers. Part of our job is to ensure that children are cared for - needs are met period. I would think that food (lunch) is a major component of "care". Now, maybe I am biased because I work in a life skills classroom where the needs of my kiddos are quite moderate to severe. Or, maybe I am biased because I am a mom who raised her kids with certain expectations while believing that it is also okay to place expectations on the teachers/educational assistants/monitors. Or, again, maybe I am biased because I also ran a private day home for seven years - with the expectation that children sit, eat, and learn.
    I have had many arguments with teachers over the years. My standpoint is: if it is in his lunch it is expected that he will eat it. I prefer growing foods first - but since most foods in the lunch are growing foods with maybe one sweet treat (bear paw, granola bar, homemade muffin, or cookies) I am really not too particular on what gets eaten when. A child cannot learn when hungry, so any food is better than no food.
    So, do kids know best? No. Do they need guidance? Absolutely. My expectation for kindergarten - especially in the first month of kindergarten? Simple. Guide my child.
    "wow, you have bear paws today? Lucky! What else do you have? Oh grapes and yogurt! Wow! Okay, eat up!" It isn't difficult. And if you are in a position where you are paid to be doing this? Well, kind of stands to reason that it will be done.
    Let's remember that these children are three and four years old. Not seven, eight, or nine. So a nudge here and a prod the ... "Do you think you can manage two more bites?" Or "apples or carrots today?"
    My recommendation to Daiv - call the teacher. Be clear about your expectations. Be polite. Be positive. But be demanding. It is your right. Your child needs to eat. Not negotiable.
    Also, equip your child with the skills needed to tackle lunch time. Have a weekend trial run and see what he can or cannot manage - if he cannot open wrappers, put his items in ziploc bags. If he can't open a thermos, ensure he knows who to ask for help, and how. Show him all the compartments of his back pack and lunch kit. See the trouble areas and fix them. And then, yes, blame society. Because if the school (and the individuals in the school hired for the purpose of ensuring lunch time success) cannot accomplish this task - society is failing your child.
    I am and educational assistant. I have written notes home because child A refused to eat item B from his lunch and we are worried that he might be too hungry without an alternative. Parents are more than happy to either send a alternative or tell us to stuff ourselves and leave the kid to his own devices.
    We too often want to remind people that teachers aren't babysitters. I agree. But - and this is a very big and flashing but - if my child is in a class where the teacher doesn't CARE enough to make sure his heart, body, and mind are nurtured, that person should not be teaching.

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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Ok so I didn't read the entire thread. At first I was a little concerned that my son was coming home with a good portion of his lunch. I also know that if he is hungry he will eat. I do invite parents to be more active. Go to your sons school, do a drop in visit just to see what is going on. Join the parent council. My sons school is close to 700 students. A note went home asking parents to volunteer for pizza day out of 700 students 7 parents showed up. Now there are a lot of parents that want to put the blame of everything that doesn't go the way they think it should go. If you don't like something be an active participant in your childs learning in whatever way possible.

    After attending a council meeting I learned that my sons school has a healthy eating program where teachers go to the gym and pick up a tray of food for their class first thing in the morning. Each student is given, various healthy snacks, yogurt tube/fruit/graham crackers. what else I'm not sure. However having that and then their two nutrition breaks plus the breakfast he eats before he leaves for school, yeah he may not eat all his lunch. I'm not overly worried.
    MagicFingers

  19. #19
    Senior Member Daiv's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    Quote Originally Posted by dancingqueen View Post
    Most schools will have lunch monitors, those monitors are good, but they have not yet mastered the art of inter-dimensional space travel. How many kids would you imagine are in your kid's school? think about the classrooms for students with special needs. And heaven forbid if the grade 8 student volunteers want to have their lunch too. Trying to make a kid eat when they are not hungry is like pulling teeth, now imagine doing that with 20 or 30 kids, or 15 of them with special or behavioral needs...
    There are worse things for your kid than not eating his hot dogs... If he's hungry, he will eat it at snack time, otherwise, he will eat dinner at home.
    Teachers, teacher aids, educational assistants ARE NOT YOUR BABYSITTERS.
    Students are not allowed to watch other students. I looked it up. I figured you would've known this seeing as how you know everything that goes on in schools.

    Also... From what I've been seeing, lunch monitors are paid for this job. I will have to confirm who monitors in kindergarten, but if they are paid lunch monitors, then their job is to monitor our children at lunch time. They can eat their lunch before or after. So again, I do not feel my expectations are too high in asking them to do the job they are paid to do.
    You leave me no choice, I swish my cape at you. - El Chupacabra

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    Default Re: Kids Know Best

    No one feels sorry for you. You are the problem, accept it and move on. Maybe if they can't feed themselves at all apparently, you should have waited another year. You can do that.

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